Passion

Many kids have an idea of what they want to be when they grow up. Often this is rooted in simply doing what their parents do or what certain childhood heroes on TV do. The jobs I most often heard kids wanting to be were policemen, firemen or doctors. The first job that I remember wanting as a kid was a rapid transit train driver (and that was before I knew you got to drink alcohol and text message in the cab). Probably a result of the typical boyhood love for cars and trains. Why do I bring this up? Because I don't think I have figured out what I WANT to do when I grow up. I know what I am going to do...which is continue down the career path I have started and am getting closer to achieving what is considered to be the end goal - partner. I go to work, I like what I do, I like the people I work with and know the work I do adds a tremendous amount of value. But I don't love it. I don't get that gleam in my eye when teaching junior staff about what we do or talking to kids about careers in accounting. I don't have a passion for it. In fact, I don't know that I have a passion for anything (besides my lovely wife and children).

Some would argue (I think my wife would, as we had this discussion a while back as we discussed careers) that one doesn't need to have a job or hobby for which they are passionate about. She would rather I work 9 to 5, Monday-Friday, make $35k a year, not travel and be home every night. However, in my mind (and I know in many others), to have a job I didn't enjoy and looked forward to 5 pm every day because I hated it so much, would slowly kill me and the depression from the job would leech into my personal life.

As I think back over the past 10-15 years, I consider two areas that I had a passion for. One was working at the fire department and the other was flying. I absolutely loved the 5 years that I spent as a firefighter/EMT. There was little I didn't like and I couldn't wait to get to work in the morning. I often went in the previous night and slept there to add additional help if needed. Mind you I worked in a town with 3-4 calls a day and don't know that I would want to work in a huge city. But I loved it. Initially I got into it as a precursor to going to medical school. However, the first time I ran in a burning building, I was hooked to both aspects of that life - providing emergency medical care and firefighting. I typically spent 90-100 hours a week at the fire station - working, training new recruits, community education, whatever needed doing. Maybe it was the rush of driving the ambulance lights and siren, the rush of administering IVs or defibrillating patients like my heroes on child hood show Emergency did or maybe the fantastic brotherhood/camaraderie that comes with working at the fire station and an intense feeling of belonging. However, I didn't follow through with my goals of becoming a doctor and dreams of greater wealth than working at the fire department pulled me in a different direction. I have followed up with several communities in the Cleveland area to see what I could offer in the way of volunteer services, but I no longer had the certifications and was too far away from volunteer departments. And god knows I don't have the time for that type of commitment anymore with two young kids. At times I toy with the idea of going to medical school, but trying to figure out how to keep a house, two cars, etc. and paying for medical school is a dead end...

In 2002, I began taking flying lessons and got my pilot's license in 2003. There is no greater feeling than flying a plane. Phenomenal. It opens up a whole new realm of exploration that few people get to experience. I loved every minute of it. It was a cautious love as I was very conscious of the concept that any mistake could lead to injury or death. I often read through flying magazines now and see ads that offer to train you to become an airline pilot over a 3 month period for $50k or so. While the money could be worked out, the idea that I start at the bottom of the seniority list (at less than $40k per year) once again leads to a dead end...

So what is my point? My point is that it is important to follow your passion, your dreams at an early age. While there are always opportunities to back track and try something new, there are often road blocks that make it much more difficult (financial, relationship, geography). While I hope to one day get back into flying and follow this passion (as I have not flown since my kids were born, partially due to time constraints, partially due to some subconscious concern about killing myself and my kids becoming fatherless), it won't likely be for a long time. And the civil service tests for firemen usually stop at age 33. Don't get me wrong - I adore my family and the time I spend with them, I like my job and it provides a fantastic living. Just a part of me misses having a passion, specifically when I see others speak or write about things that they are so passionate about. I wish that I had that same feeling about something. Perhaps my passion is yet to be discovered...