Vacation

The girls have been ok on our previous flights, usually 6-7 hours. We chose to fly directly to Orlando last Saturday (a 10.5 hour flight) and then drive to Naples the same evening. A week stay in Naples at a rented home and a week back in Orlando at Disney then fly home. The flight was unbearably long...I have taken many flights that were longer but never in coach class and never with two young kids. They were well-behaved but it was tough. Thank God for modern technology - DVD players and TVs in the back of every seat rest.

We landed in Orlando uneventfully, Rebecca got the luggage with Kate and I took Lauren to get the rental car ($1,900 for two weeks and that was for standard size, nothing larger was available when I booked in June!!!) The Camry we were given barely fit all of our luggage, and that was with one suitcase inside another and four empty duffle bags which we expected to fill with food, kids' clothes and Christmas presents. The 4 hour drive to Naples from 8pm to midnight (2 am to 6 am German time) was painful and we switched drivers a few times and tried to keep each other awake. We had decided it was probably best to stop but there were no hotels on the back roads of central Florida we were willing to try. We arrived at our rental house, carried the girls in and went to sleep.

They were up at 5 and have progressively slept a little later each day this week, usually until 6 or 630. The house has a pool and the girls have adored swimming, Kate learning to dive for rings. We saw some old friends and my mom flew down to join us for a few days which has been fantastic. We had a second Christmas with my mom (see the pics) and several days of warmth, a few hours at the beach here and there and some outlet store shopping. Most things we buy here are about 1/3 the cost as in Europe with the exchange rate impact, as well as the extra taxes and higher costs. This makes purchasing clothing for the kids worth a special trip here itself.

We are winding down our first week and heading to Orlando for a week at Disney Saturday. We had to rent a second car to go to Orlando to carry all our stuff! But are looking forward to seeing my dad and all of Rebecca's family from NY, OH and Alaska!

I got a new camera for Christmas to travel with so I can take pictures throughout my journeys. The pics and video attached are taken with it. Happy New Year!

Traveling in Europe and babies!

It is often said that Europe is an efficient and easy place to travel due to the timely trains and extent of the rail networks. Which doesn't help those of us who travel by plane throughout Europe. I like the trains but they take too long and I prefer to spend as much time as possible at home with my family. And while the airports are similar, the one thing that drives me crazy at the larger airports is that most of the planes park at an outside position (apron position, as the call them) to increase flight volume, away from the terminal and accessible only by bus. So when the plane starts boarding, everyone lines up (and don't get me started on the inability of most of Europe to form and adhere to simple courtesies of lining up) and then boards a bus. They jam as many people in the bus as possible before allowing people to get on the next bus, no one wants to move deeper inside the bus as that will make them last off and so they crowd the doors not allowing others to get on or past them easily. Same thing happens on the arrival side...exit the plane, board a bus, ride sometimes for up to 10 minutes to baggage claim/passport control. While this doesn't sound like a major inconvenience (and its not), its just one more thing in the typical day of a business traveler that adds a few minutes to each end of the trip.

However, there was a bright spot while sitting on the bus this morning. Most non-Germans comment on the Germans' stereotypical stoicism, formality and lack of friendliness. Those of us who have spent time here realize that that is not typically the case once you get to know people. Germans are a bit more reserved, less open to small talk and formal in their day-to-day lives. But once you get to know them and become friends rather than just neighbors or co-workers, they are just as charming as anybody else. So...the bus was almost full this morning and a woman got on carrying a baby who was about 9-10 months old. Someone offered their seat and she sat down. And EVERY person in the front of the bus (mostly adults 40+) could not stop staring and smiling at the baby. Maybe they all had families at home they missed, maybe it was just a rare occurrence to see a baby on a 6 am flight usually full of only business travelers or maybe it had something to do with the holiday season. But seeing the bus transform from one of little emotion and straight faces to one filled with emotion and smiles made my day.

Christmas markets again!

We hadn't yet been to a Christmas market this year so went this weekend. The Christmas markets are fantastic - several stands (some markets have 20 or so, some stretch for several blocks) selling Christmas gifts, local specialties, candies, hot chocolate and mulled wine, food and often carousels and things for kids - puppet shows, people dressed up, etc. We walked to the local small market with some German friends and their children. It was the coldest day of the year so far (about a high of 32F) and the kids were cold quickly. But the walk was refreshing, the kids enjoyed the carousel and the crepes and mulled wine were great! Some pictures to follow later today...We hope to drive the two hours to one of the best markets in Germany in Nürnberg this weekend as we procrastinate wrapping presents for the kids and packing for the trip to the US in 11 days. We sat down and listed all the Xmas gifts for the girls last night and found that we may have enough for the next few years! But luckily Lauren's birthday is in January and we can stretch the gifts out. Rebecca does such a wonderful job of finding gifts throughout the year at good prices...its often hard to stop buying for them!

Quick pondering - Kate started counting how long it would take us to get home the other day and said "One Mississippi, two Mississippi, etc." which caused me to wonder where she heard it. I asked if she learned it from her teacher (an American) and she said that she learned it from a classmate named Freya who is British and whose parents are both British. Which caused me to wonder further....wouldn't kids from different countries have a local adaptation of One Mississippi to approximate a second? I would have expected her to say "One Notting Hill, two Notting Hill" or "One Warwickshire, two Warwickshire..." I will have to ask her parents next time I see them.

I was just asked by a German colleague whether he should use the word "it's" or "its" in a sentence in his report and I led him astray, realizing it after looking it up on the internet. I have always fancied myself a very good grammarian and getting that wrong is embarassing! The result of living in another country for a couple of years...that is what I will blame it on. It is amazing how many words I forget or can't use properly when I speak English as I hear so much German all day long.

Update

I can't believe it has been 4 and 1/2 months since I have written. Many thoughts and issues pop into my mind as I fly, drive or am working but none have found the time to make their way on paper. I have committed to myself to write something at least once a week as I always enjoy doing it, but don't want it to become an onerous obligation and not look forward to it. So we shall see...A million things to mention:

1. The family and I have made the commitment to remain in Germany another year! This was a difficult decision, as though we all love Germany, being so far away from family and friends is difficult. However, the personal and professional experiences of the last 16 months pushed us towards staying another year. Now if we can just ensure Cleveland is the final destination when we return, I will be happy!

2. We are all extremely excited about heading to the US in 15 days. Dec 26th we fly to Orlando and drive to Naples for a week in a rented home near the water with my mom joining us. We then drive to Orlando for a week staying on the Disney property where we will be joined (in alternative lodging) by Rebecca's parents, my father, Rebecca's sister and brother-in-law from Alaska and Rebecca's brother from New York. A wonderful family reunion of sorts. Several meals have been planned with characters (not talking about her family, DISNEY characters) and we will be celebrating Lauren's 3rd birthday at a character breakfast as well. The next 6 months have us making a few wonderful vacations - Florida, 2 week cruise in the Mediterranean after a few days in Barcelona prior to the cruise and a week away from the kids to celebrate our 10th anniversary in Italy. Fun!

3. We had a fantastic vacation in London in October for 7 days. Having only been there for work several times, it was great to see all the sights, ride in the open top double decker busses and experience London with the kids. Rebecca ended up going back 6 weeks later for her first weekend away from the kids when she met a close friend from the US there for some time to refresh.

4. I have joined a baseball team about 20 minutes from our house that plays across Germany throughout the summer and practices once a week indoors during the winter. The practices have kicked my ass (sprints, push ups, situps) but I have loved every minute of it. Anything to play baseball. I have lost 25 lbs. since August and this commitment is one way to ensure some exercise. The main problem is trying to make practices on Wednesday nights, as I have been traveling alot the last 4 months for work. While I haven't played baseball in many years, I love playing again. The last time I really played (other than softball) was trying out for the 9th grade team and, because my parents pulled us out of school a day early for spring break, I missed the last try out day and was told I could not be on the team. For 9th grade, freshman baseball! So disappointing as baseball has been my one love consistent since I was a kid (I guess second love since I remember falling in love with Rebecca in 2nd grade!) My love of baseball does predate her though....

5. Kate had a wonderful dance recital last week and unfortunately I am missing her winter choral concert today. But luckily mom is video taping it for me! One of the pictures shown is sweet Kate with her flower bouquet after her performance.

I am sure there is more to add and will do so more regularly. Just wanted to get everyone caught up! A few more pics are also attached from the last few weeks.

Time

It seems as if I was just sitting in the cafe in Paris writing my last note but the date counter shows it has been 6 weeks. It blows my mind...and scares the hell out of me. Next thing I know, I will be going to my kids' graduations and weddings.

Anyway, I have sat alone in our empty house in Germany for a week now as I returned from our trip to the US 10 days before the rest of the family. And it is soooo quiet - too quiet. Boredom set in the first night without toys to pick up, kids not wanting to go to bed and my wife to talk to. But I have survived by doing going to work, working in the garden which has become overgrown with roses and sage (only 2 bee stings cutting it all back) and watching a few movies.

Our trip to the US was fantastic - saw tons of friends and family and loved being back. It was hectic as we tried to see and spend time with everybody. And included its share of incidents - a car accident as the taxi pulled up to catch our flight to the US when SheWhoShallNotBeNamed mighta hit the retaining wall by our garage, traffic violation in a construction zone (not I again :)), and numerous doctors' visits for check ups and yet again pink eye. But the trip was well worth it...and I just cross my fingers that Rebecca has a decent flight back tomorrow night with the kids and is not exhausted the next day.

Its funny - every time I get a day or two alone in the house (either here or the US), I always look forward to it as time to relax a bit and catch up on things - sleep, work, whatever. However, within a few hours I find I am bored and missing the organized chaos of this household. I recently saw this comment on someone else's blog but am going to borrow it...perhaps we need some more "tiny toes" to keep things chaotic??? Not that they are becoming routine and boring but the girls often play nicely together now giving brief periods of rest. Part of me says "Yes! I would love a new little one!" while another part of me says "No way! We are past the hard part. Why start over?"

Several thoughts

I have a million different things I have been meaning to write about lately but just haven't had a chance. Work has finally been busy and challenging so have kept the posts to a minimum. I sit right now in a Cafe on Rue de Rivoli in Paris. It is 9 pm. I have been in and out of Paris for the past 8 weeks or so working on a project and been here since Sunday night (Friday night now). I plan on being here for another 5 days or so before heading to Munich for a few days. But, luckily, the kids had a few days off school and Rebecca jumped on the train and brought the family on Wednesday night. I took Thursday off and we saw the eiffel tower, notre dame and walked alot. Walking Paris with a 4 and 2 year old is not ideal so we have been quite realistic. I worked all day today and Rebecca and the girls were beat when I got back to the hotel so I came out for dinner.
I find Paris to be one of the most fascinating cities. The history, the building and (most of all) the people. This city is alive at all hours and there are hundreds of people streaming by. A great place for people watching. I learned today that France and Paris are the number one tourist destinations in the world.
Tomorrow we head out again - perhaps to Versailles palace or just to wander - before the family heads back Sunday morning. Kate has 5 days of school left and we head to the US in 2 weeks - me for 2 weeks and the rest of the family for a month. We can't wait, though there is some trepidation. There are so many things we ask people to bring and send from the US that we can't get here and we are trying to plan as well as possible how to fit mac and cheese, bisquick and all the next year's clothes we want to buy into our suitcases. Quite alot of logistical planning but Rebecca is a master at it so I am sure we will be fine. The other concern (more from Rebecca than me though I understand perfectly) is that now we have come to enjoy and live life here comfortably, a month home with comforts and family will make leaving again hard. We shall see...I can do with missing the food and many other things. The hardest part is leaving family.
So I wanted to write a few weeks ago and didn't have time so hope I don't forget it all. And, as requested by Jenny, I do plan on posting pictures of the tulips from our visit to Holland (as soon as Rebecca sends them to me).
But what I wanted to write about was a mixture of fun (a day at a German amusement park geared towards kids) and frustration (the lack of German etiquette when it comes to getting in lines and not cutting). However, now that I have spent time in Paris, I realize that Germans are fantastic about getting in lines and it is the French who are very challenged.
So we went to this amusement park about 30 minutes from our house. Mini sized and geared toward kids 12 and under or so but with some good rides - a roller coaster, sky lifts, ferris wheel, etc. It was a relatively small park with much of the park geared towards little shelters and barbecue sites for families coming to spend the day, have fun as well as eat. There is a petting zoo and much of it is geared around the life of farming. But what amazed me is that almost all of the rides were human powered. The kids got on a ferris wheel and there was another kid riding a bike powering the wheel. The "sky ride" was a pedal ride that took you around the park. The chair lift ride that shoots you across the park is essentially 100% gravity based. And on all but one ride, there was no attendant. Lines were not managed by attendants, attendants did not ensure you put your belt on or didn't hang out of the ride. Nothing. And while that ran relatively well...the one ride where there were lines (for the kids to drive actual small boats) and had an attendant, she did not pay attention at all to the mass chaos that was going on in the lines. She would pick the 5 kids who would go next and then parents would push and pull and force their kids in front of those 5 and she would just take the first 5. And this is acceptable behavior! (See my post in December about the carousel and this was quite similar). It was really quite overwhelming that even I, who has never been in a fight that I recall, just wanted to start hitting people. Amazing....
And that was not topped until we stood in line for 2 hours at the Eiffel tower and the French were just pushing themselves in line near the front. We wait for 2 hours with kids and the couple in front of us decided they could just cut the line. Amazingly rude...though only rude by American standards I suppose. It is just the culture here...Just hard to explain to kids.

Sorry for my rambling...

What are they thinking?

In a response to increasing complaints from customers on only being able to take one bag, Air Jamaica came up with a brilliant new scheme. See the press release below.


Kingston, Jamaica May 8, 2009 –Air Jamaica will implement a new policy for checked baggage on flights between New York and Grenada and New York and Barbados. Passengers travelling on these routes in Lovebird Economy class may now check one bag free of charge, and pay US$25 to check a second bag. Lovebird Executive Class passengers may check two bags free of charge, with a US$25 fee for a third checked bag. The new policy comes into effect May 11, 2009 for New York/Grenada and July 2, 2009 for New York/Barbados, subject to the approval of the government of Barbados.
Passengers are guaranteed delivery of the free baggage allowance on the same flight on which they travel. All other bags will be transported within seven days, and must be collected from the airport. The status of these bags may be tracked online at www.AirJamaica.com/baggage to determine when they may be collected.

So, firstly, the name Lovebird Economy class cracks me up. Never having flown Air Jamaica, I can just imagine what the benefits of this upgraded class might be. Trying to keep my blog clean and kid friendly, I will not pass on my thoughts.

Second, what happens if you are only traveling for 6 days? Just pick up your free luggage at the airport for the return flight? Or what if you are traveling and not staying in one destination? Amazing that someone came up with this.

As an aside, I traveled through Charles de Gaulle airport twice in the past few weeks. One of the things I have noticed about european airports is that the security check is much more efficient than the US. The bins are returned on a conveyor so you don't have to wait for the brain surgeon manning the line to bring them to you. Typically no long lines at all. However, at CDG, in each security line I went through you had to pick up your packed bins not once, not twice, but three times to move them from table to table to conveyor belt as there were gaps between each one. And 3 times I have seen people dump their whole bins as they try to do all this quickly with hands full so as not to provide a delay to others. How hard would it be to push the tables together or put a connecting piece of sheet metal between them so people can just push their bins and heavy carry-ons? Good lord....Perhaps this is just meant to provide comic relief to the TSA agents

European Wanderings

I was working at a company north of Paris (20 miles) yesterday and made the decision to remain in Paris for the night and come back today to Frankfurt. While I usually travel alone, this time I was with two coworkers and one of them had never seen the Eiffel Tower. Normally I would have had dinner and gone back to the hotel room to work but he convinced me to go with him to the tower. And I am so glad he did. The tower was beautifully lit with sparkling lights all over it (like Cinderella's castle at Disney) and was a sight to behold.

However, coming into the city may not have been the best choice in the world. The traffic was miserable coming into the city at 6 pm yesterday and took us 90 minutes in a taxi from the hotel to the office. If I knew Paris a little bit better I would have taken the Metro. Oh well...

Tomorrow, Friday, the family and I are driving up to the Netherlands to the city of Keukenhof. This is apparently one of the most beautiful places in the world where the fields and fields of tulips bloom in April. There are flower parades and an amusement park all dedicated to the flowers blooming. While there we hope to spend some time in Amsterdam and a beach on the North Sea. We are staying with a family with two girls (7 and 5) - he's British and she is Dutch - that we met while sitting waiting for the Main Street Parade in Euro Disney in November.

And lastly, the company I worked at yesterday is 300 meters from where the Concorde crashed in 2000 upon take off from Charles de Gaull, killing all 113 people on board. There is still a huge hole and field, cordoned off by razor and barbed wire and small monument in the parking lot of the restaurant/hotel next door where we ate lunch. Awfully eerie to be eating lunch looking out at a field where a major airline disaster occurred.

Ode to Kate

This morning Rebecca and I got the opportunity to go to Kate's class for a conference with the teacher (and Kate) and to view Kate's portfolio - all the pictures, projects she has worked on throughout the year. We are so proud of her! She then got to go out with Rebecca for a few hours alone as Lauren was in school (which rarely happens as whenever Lauren is in school, Kate is as well) and got a popsicle. You would think we were in Texas with the size of that thing! We love you Kate!

Rebecca and I went to dinner and a movie Saturday night. Dinner was at a Japanese restaurant where they cooked in front of you like Benihana (or Samurai for those long-time east-side Cleveland residents). Food was very good, pricey but not quite the fun atmosphere of Benihana. Movie was Marley and Me...not bad but certainly emotional. The pic is a picture of a "beer bike." There were 8 places on it, each place with pedals and kegs attached so people could climb up, drink beer and help pedal the bike as it roamed the streets of Frankfurt. There appeared to be one guy up front who did the steering. Not a bad way to get from place to place on summer evenings while taking in the local scene...

Thanks for the Memories Grandpa

My grandfather, Glenn Molyneaux (Gim), was one of the people I admired most and most enjoyed spending time with. He was a jack-of-all-trades and able to do and fix anything. He was a well-respected businessman (owner of a hardware store and mutiple other endeavours) who always made time (at least in my lifetime) for family and grandkids. He passed away Saturday after a rough last couple of years. He will be sorely missed by all those who had any contact with him. A list below of the wonderful memories, many of which I share with my cousins, sister and parents:

- Going for donuts with grandpa at the cottage every weekend morning while the parents slept

- Learning the etiquette of golf

- Boating in the Molycoddle in Florida

- A deep sea fishing charter he paid for in which my cousin Brad and I were very sick

- Working for and living with him one summer after sophomore year in high school at a construction site, learning what manual labor was all about

- Fishing and learning how to clean fish

- A 14 day cruise thru the Panama Canal in 1987

- Christmases in Shaker when they would drive the motor home in and park it in our driveway

- Going with him to flea markets where he would be selling products from the hardware store

- Playing in the 2nd floor (toy floor!) of the hardware store

- The corny little songs he used to sing ("He mourned for his life and shot his wife...")

- Riding his moped around Oberlin

- Being blamed for putting the cat down the clothes chute at 582 Beech Street

- Teaching me how to drive a car with a trailer

- His constant "jerry rigging" to get things to work (thankfully/surprisingly never causing a fire at the cottage)

- Buying lottery tickets with him and sitting in the motor home waiting for the nightly picks

- Never forgetting anybody. He remembered every friend I ever brought to the cottage

- Cruising around Ft Myers in his 80's Lincoln Continental (huge!)

I am sure there are a million more, so please add on if anybody has more. I will miss you and love you Grandpa Gim.

GERMany

We arrived in Germany on the 1st of August last year. The first 3 weeks we spent living in a hotel as we awaited the delivery of the furniture to our rented house. During that 3 weeks, we went from playground to playground, McDonalds to McDonalds, exploring cities. No one got sick. Since then, GERMany has taken its toll on the Molyneaux clan. Evidence below…This does not show all the hours spent filling out medical claim forms (as each doctor visit and prescription must have a claim form filled out and sent back to the US) nor the hours Rebecca has spent on the phone talking to the healthcare provider or reconciling what they should have paid to what was actually paid. Bless her heart…it has taken at least 5 hours a week since September to keep it all straight!

August 25 - Lauren - Bronchitis
September 1 - Lauren - Lung congestion
September 4 - Rebecca - family exposed to TB on plane, needed testing
September 5 - Kate - strep throat
September 5 - Lauren - strep throat
September 11 - Kate - test for TB exposure
September 11 - Lauren - test for TB exposure
September 15 - Kate - health test
September 15 - Lauren - nasal congestion
September 20 - Lauren - sinus and cough not improving
September 23 - Rebecca - kidney and bladder infection - ambulance and hospital for 2 days
October 1 - Kate - strep throat
October 1 - Lauren - sinus infection
October 3 - Lauren - hand, foot and mouth disease at Disney
October 9 - Lauren - sinus infection
October 20 - Kate - fever
October 28 - Kate - ankle injury
November 20 - Lauren - Upper Respiratory infection in Austria
November 27 - Kate - ear infection
November 27 - Lauren - Pneumonia
December 5 - Lauren - urinary tract infection
December 6 - Lauren - pneumonia
December 22 - Lauren - severe cough
December 22 - Kate - pink eye/conjunctivitis
December 31 - Kate - pink eye, severe cough
December 31 - Lauren - pink eye
January 1 - Miles - bronchitis
January 7 - Rebecca - sore throat/cough
January 14 - Miles - pneumonia
January 25 - Rebecca - broken foot
February 3 - Kate - Cold/severe milk anaphylactic reaction
February 3 - Lauren - cold
February 10 - Rebecca - broken hand
February 10 - Lauren - foot infection
February 16 - Lauren - Scarlett Fever

Bedtime Stories

When Rebecca moved to Florida to live with me in May 1999 after graduating from law school, she jumped pretty quickly into studying for the Florida Bar exam. At night, she had difficulties falling asleep as she had so much going through her head so I started reading books to her to better allow her to fall asleep. I think the first book we read was the first Harry Potter. We have continued this practice of my reading to her each night (when I am not traveling) and have read numerous books, including the entire Harry Potter series, the Chronicles of Narnia and scores of other books, with the last one being Catcher in the Rye (which might be the worst book I have ever read).
This allows us a little down time together at the end of the night as we are both often doing our own things for the final few hours of the day after the kids go down and Rebecca and I both enjoy it. The only problem is she can't tell me when she falls asleep so I often read several pages before realizing she is asleep. And then have to reread those pages the next night...

Any suggestions for good books to read?

Analyzing behaviors

So a few months ago I mentioned divulging those personal issues which I struggle with. One is pretty easy and doesn't effect life too much. The other has become a bit too much of a part of my daily like.

1. I am totally obsessive compulsive about a number of things - cleanliness/order (but oddly not about germs) and counting. I count absolutely everything - letters in words, words in sentences, every step I walk up. I know how many steps to the 2nd and 3rd floors to our house in Shaker which I moved out of in 1994. Same with the neighbors...The cleaning drives me crazy. I get nervous and sweaty when things are not in a specific order. And order means everything off the counters, dishes washed immediately, kids toys put away when done being played with...this has manifested itself over the past few years since having kids. Rebecca and I were always quite orderly when it was just us. But the kids have caused disorder (either directly or indirectly) that just drives me crazy. This, as well, has not caused too much trouble in my life. I spend alot of time picking up and it has caused some tense moments between Rebecca and I when things get left out longer than they should or she gets bothered by the fact that I walk in the door from work and am washing dishes in suit and tie within 30 seconds (implying she is a poor housekeeper). But part of that is to ensure that I don't get angry or nervous about it later causing bigger issues...either way, I suppose, this is not a large issue as compared with those of other obsessive compulsives I have read about - not being able to leave the house, constant hand washing, etc.

2. Death. I used to have a "Book of Questions" with 242 (I think) questions in it that were supposed to spur thought, conversations and inner analysis. One of the questions was "What are you most scared of?" I often shared these questions with coworkers and friends and was amazed at the number of people that had death as their biggest fear. At the time of these numerous discussions, I was 15-25 years old and death was at the bottom of my list of things I was scared of. I parachuted, started flying, ran into burning buildings, jet skied in 20 foot waves in the ocean and alligator infested lakes. I tempted death and didn't let it worry me one bit. However, I have 100% reversed my thinking on this and attribute this to having a wife and kids who rely on me and loving others more than I could possibly love anything else. I am scared to death of death (??), not the physical act or event of dying. That doesn't worry me. The effect my death would have on the rest of the family. I read the obits every morning, scouring them for people my age who have died to find out how, who they left behind and often shed tears thinking about this person I don't know and the kids who will grow up without a parent.

Almost every act I make during the day that is semi-dangerous (driving, commercial flying, crossing the street), I picture myself crashing or getting struck and killed and think about not being able to see my daughters grow up, missing birthdays, weddings, their adulthood. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it now. Not 100% my missing things but the idea that they wouldn't have a loving and supporting father to help them grow, mature and become sensitive and caring women.
And often, especially today as I read about a father who killed his 3 children and set the house afire, I think about things the other way around - my kids getting killed and my having to live through it. Many horrendous visions come along with this. I imagine (for some reason) the last few minutes of those kids lives and watching what their father was doing and the pain (physically and emotionally) they must have gone through.

I realize this is a completely morbid post and certainly not very uplifting. But unfortunately it is something that consumes alot of my thoughts. And I read other blogs that also often have a theme of death in them - either dealing with a death or reacting to death or the worries of a parent - and realize I am not the only one. But I wish I could stop thinking about it all the time...

Holidays

My father has been here for the last 10 days and it has been wonderful to spend time with him. We had a two day tour of castle hotels in Germany, seeing four wonderful castles and staying overnight in two of them which thrilled 4 year old Kate! We went to a Christmas circus (showing me how good Ringling Brothers circuses really are) and spent some time at an indoor waterpark about 10 minutes from home today. Quite a blast. Tomorrow we drive to Goslar, where I lived for 8 months as a teenager, to show my family and visit my "home." We also get to see the mother in the family I stayed with. So it has been a wonderful time...though we had 3 cases of pink eye, 2 viral infections causing much coughing and sleeplessness in the kids, 2 colds and bronchitis (me). So it has been eventful...but it was great spending time with my father. Happy new year to all...