Musings of an Insomniac

Saving energy

2011-02-01T06:43:00.000-08:00

Though I have always leaned towards the conservative side of things (ok, more than leaned...), I have certainly noticed a large shift left over the last 5 years in my political and personal views. As part of that, I have found myself making more of an effort to conserve energy and recycle, especially here in Germany where recycling is a big deal and everyone has several sets of trash that only certain products may be thrown away in. However, there are times I don't make the effort, largely when the effort inconveniences me. For example, we were in France this weekend and had to replace the batteries in my kids Leapsters. Rebecca insisted on bringing all the batteries back home (in addition to already having more than we really needed for an overnight) to recycle them there instead of throwing them away in the hotel. I would have thrown them away in the hotel. And there are some times when the effort to conserve energy seems to go just a bit too far here. In particular, lights in certain rooms and bathrooms are programmed to shut off if no motion is detected in a certain amount of time. And that time is WAY TOO SHORT. When you end up using the bathroom and are there for greater than 3 minutes, it is quite an issue to be stuck in an unfamiliar stall in pitch darkness with the motion sensor near the doorway. Absolutely ridiculous.

Closed Sundays

2011-01-31T10:34:00.001-08:00

I may have written a bit about this before but the whole issue arose once again in our weekend trip last weekend. When we first arrived in Germany, the concept that all stores (except restaurants, bars and gas stations) were closed on Sundays was very difficult to get used to. It meant that all shopping for the weekend (and school lunches on Monday) had to be completed before the stores closed Saturday. And since Germans shop daily typically (as they cannot fit anything more than a days worth of food in their tiny refrigerators and there are not preservatives in food), everyone else was at the stores on Saturday too. (It actually has gotten alot better since I lived here in 1989 when stores were open once or twice a month on Saturdays and only until lunch time).
As time went by and we got used to getting the shopping completed and spending Sundays as Germans truly intend - united as a family, not distracted by mundane household stuff - and actually liked the idea of not shopping Sundays. Rebecca went so far as saying that she wanted to bring the concept back to the US with us when we moved back. I am not quite convinced but understand why she likes it.
However, this weekend we went to Strasbourg, France and Baden-Baden, Germany for the weekend just to see the cities as we had heard positive comments. We had a great day in Strasbourg, only to find that when we wanted to grab dinner at 5:30 (the kids go to bed at 7, especially after an afternoon of swimming like Saturday). Nothing opened prior to 7 pm and even that would have been hard to find according to the hotelier. So...off to McDonald's we went, not happily but far better than experiencing the meltdown of going to a French restaurant 90 minutes later, not finding anything our picky kids would eat and enjoying the meltdowns of the kids....
The next morning we got up, me out the hotel door to find a bakery for something to eat. And, alas, according to the hotel, absolutely nothing is open on Sundays except restaurants later in the day. So frustrating...especially for those of us being used to being able to run out at whatever whim we have to eat, shop, anything....so we ended up at a below average buffet at the hotel for only $27 per person...I am no cheapskate, but this just seemed to ridiculous to me when a $2 croissant would have sufficed.
People ask me why I like the US better and what I won't miss about Europe and this is a huge one - what I perceive as better customer service and availability of things when I want them. That is all so restricted around here...

The honeymoon is over

2010-11-29T06:22:00.000-08:00

You know when you first get to know someone or something and the quirky things they do or the minor inconveniences are seen as cute? And then as time goes by, these things become less cute and more annoying? (Except in the case of your spouse, of course, when everything they do is seen as cute for the entire marriage). Well...the things that used to be little inconveniences about Germany and Europe are now pissing me off. I long for the conveniences of home, the customer-service orientation of the US and the general respect of one's own private space. And, for God's sake, I want to be back in a culture that knows how to line-up and not just push their way to the front like kindergarten. Do you know that you can't buy a first class train ticket easily here, as I experienced this morning? You have to buy a second class ticket, insert your credit card and go through the whole transaction. Then you have to buy a 1st class upgrade and do it all over again. Are you kidding me!?!?!?!?!?!? Where is the German efficiency????

Kate's first meal at the Four Seasons

2010-11-27T10:05:00.001-08:00

We are on a 4 day trip through Vienna, Austria and Budapest, Hungary. We left directly after school on Wednesday as the kids have a fall break Thursday and Friday. The kids were well behaved on the flight and we had an uneventful trip to our apartment hotel in Vienna. Thursday we were up and checked out the Hofburg castle, Sisi Museum, Children's Museum and the Lippanzer Stallions, before going to Christmas Markets. There was a small market for children where there were 8 stations they could go in without parents to make gifts, cookies, etc. Dinner at Wienerwald and Rebecca and the kids were asleep by 730!

Friday morning we caught a train to Budapest, a 2.5 hour train ride, but not before a heartbreaking event. Rebecca caught her wedding ring on her coat while getting on board one of the trains and when the train pulled out of the station, she noticed that the primary stone was gone. A priest came up to her as she cried on the train, gave her a medallion of the Virgin Mary that he said was blessed by the Pope and told her, "Better to lose the stone than the whole finger!" After paying for insurance on it on our homeowner's policy in the US, I do not believe it is currently insured...painful!

Alot of trains on that day and took a while to figure out the subway system in Budapest but we made it within two blocks of our apartment. I called the landlady and she could not tell us how to get there from the big 8-way intersection we were at ("walk one direction 200 meters and if you don't see the street, turn around and try another direction!" Ridiculous). We ended up figuring it out with the GPS on my phone but the intersection was so big that there is no crossing it above ground and had to keep going down stairs and up stairs with our luggage, stroller and bundled up kids. We went out briefly last night to some Christmas markets and found a TGIFriday's for dinner! So nice to taste American food! Most people would scoff at Friday's or Hard Rock but we love finding them as we have so much German food that some comfort American food is so much appreciated.

Finding food in Germany for us is hard due to Kate's milk allergy. Finding food in a foreign country in a language that we know nothing about with people who speak such little English is miserable. We had some crackers for breakfast early this morning as they had ingredients listed in English. As we walked toward the bus tour we had reserved, Kate said she was starving and the tour was supposed to be 2 hours. So we went in the Sofitel Hotel to see if they had a gift shop or something to get pretzels. No dice. Across the street to the ritzy Four Seasons, Rebecca and Kate went in and Lauren and I waited in the cold outside, a block away from where we were supposed to board the bus in 20 minutes. 15 minutes later, no Kate and Rebecca. Lauren and I ran to the bus to ask them to wait and they waited. Right as the clock hit 11 and they told me they had to leave, Rebecca and Kate come running out of the Four Seasons full speed toward the bus. It took 10 minutes before my out-of-breath pregnant could explain. Apparently they had no food or gift shop, but promised they could make her scrambled eggs in 1 minute. They made the eggs but then Rebecca realized she had no Hungarian money or a credit card on her. So she had to run to the front desk, exchange Euros for Forint and go back and pay. I asked for the receipt to see how much these eggs had cost and it was about $28. What a bargain...

A 2 hour bus tour on a bus that doubled as a boat down the Danube was awesome, though Kate was in tears the last 20 minutes because she had to pee so badly! Off the bus and found a pizza/salad place that is prevalent throughout Europe - Vapiano. Great lunch then off on the subway to the Hungarian circus. Wow...what an experience. Most circuses I have seen in Germany are Eastern European in origin and I believe they usually originate from Romania or Bulgaria, countries with nomadic people and gypsies. Ironically, we go to a circus in Eastern Europe, and the primary characters who performed 75% of the acts, were musucular, dredlocked black guys, rapping and beat boxing as they performed the typical acrobatics. A few animal acts and others as well. Oddly, the lead rapper/singer was a guy dressed only in a speedo and war paint and in a 55 gallon drum for the entire performance. He would pop out of it and sing or just peak out of it and watch what was going on. And at times, believe it or not, he would drag himself across the ring on just his arms, dragging his body and the 55 gallon drum. We saw him later in the show and this was not to hide any sort of handicap as he was walking just fine. Just artistic...

And here we sit on our last night before taking 2 trains and a plane tomorrow back home. For the 4th night in a row, the kids have been miserable going to bed, likely due to overtiredness. I am certainly overtired from lugging the luggage and stroller up and down so many flights of stairs...that is why people backpack when they come to Europe...and do it before they have kids.

2010-11-21T04:42:00.000-08:00

I am sitting in a Starbucks, actually reading and relaxing on a Sunday while I wait to pick up Kate from a birthday party downtown. Rebecca took Lauren to another birthday party. Sort of guilty sitting here accomplishing nothing but some downtime is nice. The last two months have been quite stressful:

1. Rebecca is pregnant and we are just finishing the first trimester. She wasn't quite as sick with this one as the last two but it has been no cake walk. The concerns of problems with the baby (due to our now being old) and a couple of day stay at the hospital largely due to a ovarian cyst kept things interesting. But all is well and we have the lowest possible chance after all the screening to have any genetic issues with the baby. Like 1 in 3900. I'll take those chances.

2. Becca's been very sick with some virus the past few weeks, the kids have had it on and off and I seem to be coming down with it a bit.

3. Work has been busier the past 3 months than I ever recall. Long days. Turning work away as we are so busy so this takes time away from the family and stresses them a bit too.

4. We have been struggling for a while about where to return to in the US and where the firm would allow us to. After lots of discussions and thinking about it, we chose to go back to Cleveland against most recommendations that suggested other places would be best career wise. However, best career-wise didn't sound like best family-wise which is most important. So thrilled to be returning home to family, friends, the cottage.

5. However, we have decided due to our growing family and the need for better schools, to move from our first home on Coleridge. Sad to leave it as we loved it but excited to find a new place that will be the place our kids remember most about growing up. Both of us are set on the community being most important as we both grew up on very loving wonderful and open streets and want our kids to have the same experience. We just need to weigh that with distance from family, schools, the desire for a newer home (ok MY desire for a newer home).

Definitely feels like we will be closing two chapters of our lives at once. Certainly on our lives and wonderful friends and experiences here in Germany. But also on Coleridge as we never closed that chapter and expected to return to our awesome neighbors and great location. For those of us who embrace change and are excited about new things and experiences, this will still be emotional but an adventure. For those of us (REBECCA!) who don't, the next 6-8 months will certainly have its challenges. And moving with a 5 week old will certainly lessen the stress...;)

We are off to Vienna and Budapest this week for a brief 4 day vacation that should be fun. Never been to Budapest which I hear is one of the most beautiful cities in Europe.

Canary Islands

2010-10-07T07:08:00.000-07:00

We are in the midst of a short one-week vacation in Tenerife, Carnary Island, an island chain off the coast of North Africa that belongs to Spain. While Spanish is the primary language, English is very prevalent with most signs also being in Englisg due to the plethora of Brits who vacation here. We have been told by a few people that very few Americans make it here as the islands are similar to the weather in Florida, the Caribbean or Hawaii so people don't make the journey here. For us, we flew from Frankfurt to Madrid (2.5 hours) and then Madrid to Tenerife (about 2 3/4 hours). An hour drive took us to this beautiful mansion we rented with plenty of room for another family and a pool that has been used non-stop.

We have spent a few days lounging by the pool and swimming all day. This morning we went to a local beach (some of which are black sand) and enjoyed the waves and salt water. Both girls were fantastic and Kate was in the water in 30 seconds, paddling out on a wake board, as well as "snorkeling" with me a ways out in the water. Beach pics below are from this morning.

There are also some wonderful amusement parks on the island and we chose two to go to - one of the largest water parks in the world (Siam Park) and a wonderful animal park with dolphin and orca shows (Lora Parque) that rivaled Sea World. Both wonderful parks and the girls loved them. One had a roller coaster and Lauren loved it - screamed the whole time with her arms up!

Kids have been tough to get to bed at night despite being exhausted...perhaps the hour time change from Frankfurt, perhaps the new environment or perhaps just missing their window and being over tired. But Rebecca has been asleep by 8 every night except the first one. The first one we arrived about 10 after an hour drive from the airport and then saw a huge fireworks show over the water that was Kate's first real fireworks show. She loved it!

We fly home in 2 days, back to wintry, grey Frankfurt. Though happy Grandpa David will be joining us for some time next week and looking forward to Kate's birthday in a few weeks.

Catching Up

2010-09-08T00:43:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it has been 8 months since I wrote. Alot has happened in that time - nothing big but just fun moments while living in Germany. To catch you up before I complain about the cost of living here..

February - a fantastic 12 day cruise preceded by 3 days in Barcelona. Cruise went from Barcelona to Rome to Athens to Turkey to Egypt to Malta and back to Barcelona. This was cruise number 30 for me but the first for the kids and was fantastic. It was tough to get them out of the Kids' Club.

April - Made our extension to stay in Germany through June 2011 official. Who knows where we will end up thereafter but I will be pushing hard for Cleveland...unless they have some other wonderful place for us to spend some time.

May - Rebecca and I went on our first trip alone to celebrate our 10 year anniversary. We flew our babysitter (and essentially one of the family since she has been with us since Kate was little) from the US. She came a week early to "learn the ropes" - driving, taking the kids to school, meals, etc. The trip was fantastic. We drove first to Venice, then Florence, Pisa and then to the Cinque Terre, 5 gorgeous cities on the Italian Riviera. The first 5 days were full of museums and we were quite tired of museums by then. The last 4 days were relaxing - some hiking along the coast and sitting on the beach for the day. We even decided to come home a say early as we missed the girls. All was wonderful, Natalie did a fantastic job. Aside from my leaving $1,500 in cash in a safe in Florence...got it back but a few panicy hours.

May - My sister Becca, her husband Bryan and 2 year old son Ben (the B's) came over for 10 days. We had so much fun sharing with them where we lived, exploring the local area (castles, Frankfurt, etc) and they had a few day jaunt to Munich to check it out. Glad they could make it over before baby number 2 joins us in the next week or so!

June - Went to Berlin for a 4-day weekend. My firs trip back since January 1990, just after the wall came down and so much has changed. Construction everywhere and really a big city, cosmopolitan feel. Such fun to show Rebecca (a European history major) the wall, museum of the SS, Brandenburg Gate and many other very historical sites. We stayed in an apartment hotel that worked out well.

July - The family few home to Cleveland on the 2nd, originally staying for 5 weeks, though we extended it to 6 before we even left. Ended up changing it to 7 near the end of the trip. We had a great time seeing family in Cleveland, staying with Mimi, a week at the cottage swimming, jet skiing, etc. and just visiting with everyone. I flew home the 17th and the family stayed through August 16th. However, I was able to work on a project in Toronto, Canada so was in North America for the next month and got to visit every weekend. Not ideal but better than spending the summer in Germany alone! Kate and Lauren spent 4 hours a day in the pool at Rebecca's parents house and are swimming so well. Kate dove to the bottom of the 10 foot pool to fetch rings and Lauren is swimming all alone with no flotation devices. Really proud of them!

August/September - Back to school! Kate came home and discovered she had "two wobbly teeth" and the first fell out yesterday! She was sooooo excited. Kids enjoy their classes and it is nice to get back into the swing of things.

We are now gearing up for a trip to the Canary Islands in about 3 weeks for a week. We have rented a villa with a pool near the beach and expect a Florida-like atmosphere and weather. It is hard to find warmth in Europe after September but the Canary Islands are quite far south, off the Atlantic coast of Morocco. They are owned by Spain...though are about as far from Spain as Puerto Rico is from the US.

On to cost of living. We get a decent cost of living allowance to account for the difference between living in Cleveland and Frankfurt. And frankly, I believe it covers us pretty well as Rebecca and I are relatively frugal except for our wonderful travels. However it is times like yesterday that just blow my mind...

I took my car to the car dealer for the 65,000 mile check up and the cost was...$1,900. And that was without anything broken....just to change oils, lubricants, filters, general check up. The oil is about $40 a liter...so changing my oil was $200. With all other lubricants and filters, just the oil change was about $400. Compared with $20 in the US? Good fricking god. And every two years, cars must be inspected to allow them to remain driving. The findings on mine?

1. A small nick in the windshield, causing the ENTIRE windshield to have to be replaced.

2. A fog light was out

3. The light in the glove box was not working and needed to be replaced

4. The first aid kit that is mandatory in every car in Germany was missing.

5. A small piece that is part of the windshield wiper was missing and had to be replaced. But they don't have that piece separately so I needed entirely new wipers. Which, I had just replaced in May prior to our anniversary trip. Only $80. What a bargain.

And, of course, they couldn't fix any of these things as they don't carry the inventory of ANY of them so I had to make another appointment. Oh...and then ANOTHER appointment for a reinspection.

No wonder Germany has such a high GDP and strong economy. Their processes and laws ensure that so much money is spent on maintaining one's vehicle (and property - get this, you MUST pull your weeds in the sidewalk every 7 days or face a ticket, you MUST have all snow shoveled each morning by 7 am or be cited), therefore boosting the economy.

So for all the times I think we are saving some money on the cost of living increase, I have to be reminded of times like these. Car maintenance and housing....so expensive.

Vacation

2009-12-31T11:21:00.001-08:00

The girls have been ok on our previous flights, usually 6-7 hours. We chose to fly directly to Orlando last Saturday (a 10.5 hour flight) and then drive to Naples the same evening. A week stay in Naples at a rented home and a week back in Orlando at Disney then fly home. The flight was unbearably long...I have taken many flights that were longer but never in coach class and never with two young kids. They were well-behaved but it was tough. Thank God for modern technology - DVD players and TVs in the back of every seat rest.

We landed in Orlando uneventfully, Rebecca got the luggage with Kate and I took Lauren to get the rental car ($1,900 for two weeks and that was for standard size, nothing larger was available when I booked in June!!!) The Camry we were given barely fit all of our luggage, and that was with one suitcase inside another and four empty duffle bags which we expected to fill with food, kids' clothes and Christmas presents. The 4 hour drive to Naples from 8pm to midnight (2 am to 6 am German time) was painful and we switched drivers a few times and tried to keep each other awake. We had decided it was probably best to stop but there were no hotels on the back roads of central Florida we were willing to try. We arrived at our rental house, carried the girls in and went to sleep.

They were up at 5 and have progressively slept a little later each day this week, usually until 6 or 630. The house has a pool and the girls have adored swimming, Kate learning to dive for rings. We saw some old friends and my mom flew down to join us for a few days which has been fantastic. We had a second Christmas with my mom (see the pics) and several days of warmth, a few hours at the beach here and there and some outlet store shopping. Most things we buy here are about 1/3 the cost as in Europe with the exchange rate impact, as well as the extra taxes and higher costs. This makes purchasing clothing for the kids worth a special trip here itself.

We are winding down our first week and heading to Orlando for a week at Disney Saturday. We had to rent a second car to go to Orlando to carry all our stuff! But are looking forward to seeing my dad and all of Rebecca's family from NY, OH and Alaska!

I got a new camera for Christmas to travel with so I can take pictures throughout my journeys. The pics and video attached are taken with it. Happy New Year!

Traveling in Europe and babies!

2009-12-16T01:21:00.000-08:00

It is often said that Europe is an efficient and easy place to travel due to the timely trains and extent of the rail networks. Which doesn't help those of us who travel by plane throughout Europe. I like the trains but they take too long and I prefer to spend as much time as possible at home with my family. And while the airports are similar, the one thing that drives me crazy at the larger airports is that most of the planes park at an outside position (apron position, as the call them) to increase flight volume, away from the terminal and accessible only by bus. So when the plane starts boarding, everyone lines up (and don't get me started on the inability of most of Europe to form and adhere to simple courtesies of lining up) and then boards a bus. They jam as many people in the bus as possible before allowing people to get on the next bus, no one wants to move deeper inside the bus as that will make them last off and so they crowd the doors not allowing others to get on or past them easily. Same thing happens on the arrival side...exit the plane, board a bus, ride sometimes for up to 10 minutes to baggage claim/passport control. While this doesn't sound like a major inconvenience (and its not), its just one more thing in the typical day of a business traveler that adds a few minutes to each end of the trip.

However, there was a bright spot while sitting on the bus this morning. Most non-Germans comment on the Germans' stereotypical stoicism, formality and lack of friendliness. Those of us who have spent time here realize that that is not typically the case once you get to know people. Germans are a bit more reserved, less open to small talk and formal in their day-to-day lives. But once you get to know them and become friends rather than just neighbors or co-workers, they are just as charming as anybody else. So...the bus was almost full this morning and a woman got on carrying a baby who was about 9-10 months old. Someone offered their seat and she sat down. And EVERY person in the front of the bus (mostly adults 40+) could not stop staring and smiling at the baby. Maybe they all had families at home they missed, maybe it was just a rare occurrence to see a baby on a 6 am flight usually full of only business travelers or maybe it had something to do with the holiday season. But seeing the bus transform from one of little emotion and straight faces to one filled with emotion and smiles made my day.

Christmas markets again!

2009-12-15T03:00:00.001-08:00

We hadn't yet been to a Christmas market this year so went this weekend. The Christmas markets are fantastic - several stands (some markets have 20 or so, some stretch for several blocks) selling Christmas gifts, local specialties, candies, hot chocolate and mulled wine, food and often carousels and things for kids - puppet shows, people dressed up, etc. We walked to the local small market with some German friends and their children. It was the coldest day of the year so far (about a high of 32F) and the kids were cold quickly. But the walk was refreshing, the kids enjoyed the carousel and the crepes and mulled wine were great! Some pictures to follow later today...We hope to drive the two hours to one of the best markets in Germany in Nürnberg this weekend as we procrastinate wrapping presents for the kids and packing for the trip to the US in 11 days. We sat down and listed all the Xmas gifts for the girls last night and found that we may have enough for the next few years! But luckily Lauren's birthday is in January and we can stretch the gifts out. Rebecca does such a wonderful job of finding gifts throughout the year at good prices...its often hard to stop buying for them!

Quick pondering - Kate started counting how long it would take us to get home the other day and said "One Mississippi, two Mississippi, etc." which caused me to wonder where she heard it. I asked if she learned it from her teacher (an American) and she said that she learned it from a classmate named Freya who is British and whose parents are both British. Which caused me to wonder further....wouldn't kids from different countries have a local adaptation of One Mississippi to approximate a second? I would have expected her to say "One Notting Hill, two Notting Hill" or "One Warwickshire, two Warwickshire..." I will have to ask her parents next time I see them.

I was just asked by a German colleague whether he should use the word "it's" or "its" in a sentence in his report and I led him astray, realizing it after looking it up on the internet. I have always fancied myself a very good grammarian and getting that wrong is embarassing! The result of living in another country for a couple of years...that is what I will blame it on. It is amazing how many words I forget or can't use properly when I speak English as I hear so much German all day long.

Update

2009-12-11T02:09:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it has been 4 and 1/2 months since I have written. Many thoughts and issues pop into my mind as I fly, drive or am working but none have found the time to make their way on paper. I have committed to myself to write something at least once a week as I always enjoy doing it, but don't want it to become an onerous obligation and not look forward to it. So we shall see...A million things to mention:

1. The family and I have made the commitment to remain in Germany another year! This was a difficult decision, as though we all love Germany, being so far away from family and friends is difficult. However, the personal and professional experiences of the last 16 months pushed us towards staying another year. Now if we can just ensure Cleveland is the final destination when we return, I will be happy!

2. We are all extremely excited about heading to the US in 15 days. Dec 26th we fly to Orlando and drive to Naples for a week in a rented home near the water with my mom joining us. We then drive to Orlando for a week staying on the Disney property where we will be joined (in alternative lodging) by Rebecca's parents, my father, Rebecca's sister and brother-in-law from Alaska and Rebecca's brother from New York. A wonderful family reunion of sorts. Several meals have been planned with characters (not talking about her family, DISNEY characters) and we will be celebrating Lauren's 3rd birthday at a character breakfast as well. The next 6 months have us making a few wonderful vacations - Florida, 2 week cruise in the Mediterranean after a few days in Barcelona prior to the cruise and a week away from the kids to celebrate our 10th anniversary in Italy. Fun!

3. We had a fantastic vacation in London in October for 7 days. Having only been there for work several times, it was great to see all the sights, ride in the open top double decker busses and experience London with the kids. Rebecca ended up going back 6 weeks later for her first weekend away from the kids when she met a close friend from the US there for some time to refresh.

4. I have joined a baseball team about 20 minutes from our house that plays across Germany throughout the summer and practices once a week indoors during the winter. The practices have kicked my ass (sprints, push ups, situps) but I have loved every minute of it. Anything to play baseball. I have lost 25 lbs. since August and this commitment is one way to ensure some exercise. The main problem is trying to make practices on Wednesday nights, as I have been traveling alot the last 4 months for work. While I haven't played baseball in many years, I love playing again. The last time I really played (other than softball) was trying out for the 9th grade team and, because my parents pulled us out of school a day early for spring break, I missed the last try out day and was told I could not be on the team. For 9th grade, freshman baseball! So disappointing as baseball has been my one love consistent since I was a kid (I guess second love since I remember falling in love with Rebecca in 2nd grade!) My love of baseball does predate her though....

5. Kate had a wonderful dance recital last week and unfortunately I am missing her winter choral concert today. But luckily mom is video taping it for me! One of the pictures shown is sweet Kate with her flower bouquet after her performance.

I am sure there is more to add and will do so more regularly. Just wanted to get everyone caught up! A few more pics are also attached from the last few weeks.

Time

2009-07-30T10:41:00.001-07:00

It seems as if I was just sitting in the cafe in Paris writing my last note but the date counter shows it has been 6 weeks. It blows my mind...and scares the hell out of me. Next thing I know, I will be going to my kids' graduations and weddings.

Anyway, I have sat alone in our empty house in Germany for a week now as I returned from our trip to the US 10 days before the rest of the family. And it is soooo quiet - too quiet. Boredom set in the first night without toys to pick up, kids not wanting to go to bed and my wife to talk to. But I have survived by doing going to work, working in the garden which has become overgrown with roses and sage (only 2 bee stings cutting it all back) and watching a few movies.

Our trip to the US was fantastic - saw tons of friends and family and loved being back. It was hectic as we tried to see and spend time with everybody. And included its share of incidents - a car accident as the taxi pulled up to catch our flight to the US when SheWhoShallNotBeNamed mighta hit the retaining wall by our garage, traffic violation in a construction zone (not I again :)), and numerous doctors' visits for check ups and yet again pink eye. But the trip was well worth it...and I just cross my fingers that Rebecca has a decent flight back tomorrow night with the kids and is not exhausted the next day.

Its funny - every time I get a day or two alone in the house (either here or the US), I always look forward to it as time to relax a bit and catch up on things - sleep, work, whatever. However, within a few hours I find I am bored and missing the organized chaos of this household. I recently saw this comment on someone else's blog but am going to borrow it...perhaps we need some more "tiny toes" to keep things chaotic??? Not that they are becoming routine and boring but the girls often play nicely together now giving brief periods of rest. Part of me says "Yes! I would love a new little one!" while another part of me says "No way! We are past the hard part. Why start over?"

Several thoughts

2009-06-12T12:05:00.000-07:00

I have a million different things I have been meaning to write about lately but just haven't had a chance. Work has finally been busy and challenging so have kept the posts to a minimum. I sit right now in a Cafe on Rue de Rivoli in Paris. It is 9 pm. I have been in and out of Paris for the past 8 weeks or so working on a project and been here since Sunday night (Friday night now). I plan on being here for another 5 days or so before heading to Munich for a few days. But, luckily, the kids had a few days off school and Rebecca jumped on the train and brought the family on Wednesday night. I took Thursday off and we saw the eiffel tower, notre dame and walked alot. Walking Paris with a 4 and 2 year old is not ideal so we have been quite realistic. I worked all day today and Rebecca and the girls were beat when I got back to the hotel so I came out for dinner.
I find Paris to be one of the most fascinating cities. The history, the building and (most of all) the people. This city is alive at all hours and there are hundreds of people streaming by. A great place for people watching. I learned today that France and Paris are the number one tourist destinations in the world.
Tomorrow we head out again - perhaps to Versailles palace or just to wander - before the family heads back Sunday morning. Kate has 5 days of school left and we head to the US in 2 weeks - me for 2 weeks and the rest of the family for a month. We can't wait, though there is some trepidation. There are so many things we ask people to bring and send from the US that we can't get here and we are trying to plan as well as possible how to fit mac and cheese, bisquick and all the next year's clothes we want to buy into our suitcases. Quite alot of logistical planning but Rebecca is a master at it so I am sure we will be fine. The other concern (more from Rebecca than me though I understand perfectly) is that now we have come to enjoy and live life here comfortably, a month home with comforts and family will make leaving again hard. We shall see...I can do with missing the food and many other things. The hardest part is leaving family.
So I wanted to write a few weeks ago and didn't have time so hope I don't forget it all. And, as requested by Jenny, I do plan on posting pictures of the tulips from our visit to Holland (as soon as Rebecca sends them to me).
But what I wanted to write about was a mixture of fun (a day at a German amusement park geared towards kids) and frustration (the lack of German etiquette when it comes to getting in lines and not cutting). However, now that I have spent time in Paris, I realize that Germans are fantastic about getting in lines and it is the French who are very challenged.
So we went to this amusement park about 30 minutes from our house. Mini sized and geared toward kids 12 and under or so but with some good rides - a roller coaster, sky lifts, ferris wheel, etc. It was a relatively small park with much of the park geared towards little shelters and barbecue sites for families coming to spend the day, have fun as well as eat. There is a petting zoo and much of it is geared around the life of farming. But what amazed me is that almost all of the rides were human powered. The kids got on a ferris wheel and there was another kid riding a bike powering the wheel. The "sky ride" was a pedal ride that took you around the park. The chair lift ride that shoots you across the park is essentially 100% gravity based. And on all but one ride, there was no attendant. Lines were not managed by attendants, attendants did not ensure you put your belt on or didn't hang out of the ride. Nothing. And while that ran relatively well...the one ride where there were lines (for the kids to drive actual small boats) and had an attendant, she did not pay attention at all to the mass chaos that was going on in the lines. She would pick the 5 kids who would go next and then parents would push and pull and force their kids in front of those 5 and she would just take the first 5. And this is acceptable behavior! (See my post in December about the carousel and this was quite similar). It was really quite overwhelming that even I, who has never been in a fight that I recall, just wanted to start hitting people. Amazing....
And that was not topped until we stood in line for 2 hours at the Eiffel tower and the French were just pushing themselves in line near the front. We wait for 2 hours with kids and the couple in front of us decided they could just cut the line. Amazingly rude...though only rude by American standards I suppose. It is just the culture here...Just hard to explain to kids.

Sorry for my rambling...

What are they thinking?

2009-05-15T02:03:00.001-07:00

In a response to increasing complaints from customers on only being able to take one bag, Air Jamaica came up with a brilliant new scheme. See the press release below.

Kingston, Jamaica May 8, 2009 –Air Jamaica will implement a new policy for checked baggage on flights between New York and Grenada and New York and Barbados. Passengers travelling on these routes in Lovebird Economy class may now check one bag free of charge, and pay US$25 to check a second bag. Lovebird Executive Class passengers may check two bags free of charge, with a US$25 fee for a third checked bag. The new policy comes into effect May 11, 2009 for New York/Grenada and July 2, 2009 for New York/Barbados, subject to the approval of the government of Barbados.
Passengers are guaranteed delivery of the free baggage allowance on the same flight on which they travel. All other bags will be transported within seven days, and must be collected from the airport. The status of these bags may be tracked online at www.AirJamaica.com/baggage to determine when they may be collected.

So, firstly, the name Lovebird Economy class cracks me up. Never having flown Air Jamaica, I can just imagine what the benefits of this upgraded class might be. Trying to keep my blog clean and kid friendly, I will not pass on my thoughts.

Second, what happens if you are only traveling for 6 days? Just pick up your free luggage at the airport for the return flight? Or what if you are traveling and not staying in one destination? Amazing that someone came up with this.

As an aside, I traveled through Charles de Gaulle airport twice in the past few weeks. One of the things I have noticed about european airports is that the security check is much more efficient than the US. The bins are returned on a conveyor so you don't have to wait for the brain surgeon manning the line to bring them to you. Typically no long lines at all. However, at CDG, in each security line I went through you had to pick up your packed bins not once, not twice, but three times to move them from table to table to conveyor belt as there were gaps between each one. And 3 times I have seen people dump their whole bins as they try to do all this quickly with hands full so as not to provide a delay to others. How hard would it be to push the tables together or put a connecting piece of sheet metal between them so people can just push their bins and heavy carry-ons? Good lord....Perhaps this is just meant to provide comic relief to the TSA agents

European Wanderings

2009-04-23T02:37:00.000-07:00

I was working at a company north of Paris (20 miles) yesterday and made the decision to remain in Paris for the night and come back today to Frankfurt. While I usually travel alone, this time I was with two coworkers and one of them had never seen the Eiffel Tower. Normally I would have had dinner and gone back to the hotel room to work but he convinced me to go with him to the tower. And I am so glad he did. The tower was beautifully lit with sparkling lights all over it (like Cinderella's castle at Disney) and was a sight to behold.

However, coming into the city may not have been the best choice in the world. The traffic was miserable coming into the city at 6 pm yesterday and took us 90 minutes in a taxi from the hotel to the office. If I knew Paris a little bit better I would have taken the Metro. Oh well...

Tomorrow, Friday, the family and I are driving up to the Netherlands to the city of Keukenhof. This is apparently one of the most beautiful places in the world where the fields and fields of tulips bloom in April. There are flower parades and an amusement park all dedicated to the flowers blooming. While there we hope to spend some time in Amsterdam and a beach on the North Sea. We are staying with a family with two girls (7 and 5) - he's British and she is Dutch - that we met while sitting waiting for the Main Street Parade in Euro Disney in November.

And lastly, the company I worked at yesterday is 300 meters from where the Concorde crashed in 2000 upon take off from Charles de Gaull, killing all 113 people on board. There is still a huge hole and field, cordoned off by razor and barbed wire and small monument in the parking lot of the restaurant/hotel next door where we ate lunch. Awfully eerie to be eating lunch looking out at a field where a major airline disaster occurred.

Ode to Kate

2009-03-23T03:04:00.001-07:00

This morning Rebecca and I got the opportunity to go to Kate's class for a conference with the teacher (and Kate) and to view Kate's portfolio - all the pictures, projects she has worked on throughout the year. We are so proud of her! She then got to go out with Rebecca for a few hours alone as Lauren was in school (which rarely happens as whenever Lauren is in school, Kate is as well) and got a popsicle. You would think we were in Texas with the size of that thing! We love you Kate!

2009-03-16T11:43:00.000-07:00

Rebecca and I went to dinner and a movie Saturday night. Dinner was at a Japanese restaurant where they cooked in front of you like Benihana (or Samurai for those long-time east-side Cleveland residents). Food was very good, pricey but not quite the fun atmosphere of Benihana. Movie was Marley and Me...not bad but certainly emotional. The pic is a picture of a "beer bike." There were 8 places on it, each place with pedals and kegs attached so people could climb up, drink beer and help pedal the bike as it roamed the streets of Frankfurt. There appeared to be one guy up front who did the steering. Not a bad way to get from place to place on summer evenings while taking in the local scene...

Thanks for the Memories Grandpa

2009-03-02T12:06:00.000-08:00

My grandfather, Glenn Molyneaux (Gim), was one of the people I admired most and most enjoyed spending time with. He was a jack-of-all-trades and able to do and fix anything. He was a well-respected businessman (owner of a hardware store and mutiple other endeavours) who always made time (at least in my lifetime) for family and grandkids. He passed away Saturday after a rough last couple of years. He will be sorely missed by all those who had any contact with him. A list below of the wonderful memories, many of which I share with my cousins, sister and parents:

- Going for donuts with grandpa at the cottage every weekend morning while the parents slept

- Learning the etiquette of golf

- Boating in the Molycoddle in Florida

- A deep sea fishing charter he paid for in which my cousin Brad and I were very sick

- Working for and living with him one summer after sophomore year in high school at a construction site, learning what manual labor was all about

- Fishing and learning how to clean fish

- A 14 day cruise thru the Panama Canal in 1987

- Christmases in Shaker when they would drive the motor home in and park it in our driveway

- Going with him to flea markets where he would be selling products from the hardware store

- Playing in the 2nd floor (toy floor!) of the hardware store

- The corny little songs he used to sing ("He mourned for his life and shot his wife...")

- Riding his moped around Oberlin

- Being blamed for putting the cat down the clothes chute at 582 Beech Street

- Teaching me how to drive a car with a trailer

- His constant "jerry rigging" to get things to work (thankfully/surprisingly never causing a fire at the cottage)

- Buying lottery tickets with him and sitting in the motor home waiting for the nightly picks

- Never forgetting anybody. He remembered every friend I ever brought to the cottage

- Cruising around Ft Myers in his 80's Lincoln Continental (huge!)

I am sure there are a million more, so please add on if anybody has more. I will miss you and love you Grandpa Gim.

GERMany

2009-02-15T05:11:00.002-08:00

We arrived in Germany on the 1st of August last year. The first 3 weeks we spent living in a hotel as we awaited the delivery of the furniture to our rented house. During that 3 weeks, we went from playground to playground, McDonalds to McDonalds, exploring cities. No one got sick. Since then, GERMany has taken its toll on the Molyneaux clan. Evidence below…This does not show all the hours spent filling out medical claim forms (as each doctor visit and prescription must have a claim form filled out and sent back to the US) nor the hours Rebecca has spent on the phone talking to the healthcare provider or reconciling what they should have paid to what was actually paid. Bless her heart…it has taken at least 5 hours a week since September to keep it all straight!

August 25 - Lauren - Bronchitis
September 1 - Lauren - Lung congestion
September 4 - Rebecca - family exposed to TB on plane, needed testing
September 5 - Kate - strep throat
September 5 - Lauren - strep throat
September 11 - Kate - test for TB exposure
September 11 - Lauren - test for TB exposure
September 15 - Kate - health test
September 15 - Lauren - nasal congestion
September 20 - Lauren - sinus and cough not improving
September 23 - Rebecca - kidney and bladder infection - ambulance and hospital for 2 days
October 1 - Kate - strep throat
October 1 - Lauren - sinus infection
October 3 - Lauren - hand, foot and mouth disease at Disney
October 9 - Lauren - sinus infection
October 20 - Kate - fever
October 28 - Kate - ankle injury
November 20 - Lauren - Upper Respiratory infection in Austria
November 27 - Kate - ear infection
November 27 - Lauren - Pneumonia
December 5 - Lauren - urinary tract infection
December 6 - Lauren - pneumonia
December 22 - Lauren - severe cough
December 22 - Kate - pink eye/conjunctivitis
December 31 - Kate - pink eye, severe cough
December 31 - Lauren - pink eye
January 1 - Miles - bronchitis
January 7 - Rebecca - sore throat/cough
January 14 - Miles - pneumonia
January 25 - Rebecca - broken foot
February 3 - Kate - Cold/severe milk anaphylactic reaction
February 3 - Lauren - cold
February 10 - Rebecca - broken hand
February 10 - Lauren - foot infection
February 16 - Lauren - Scarlett Fever

Bedtime Stories

2009-02-03T05:20:00.000-08:00

When Rebecca moved to Florida to live with me in May 1999 after graduating from law school, she jumped pretty quickly into studying for the Florida Bar exam. At night, she had difficulties falling asleep as she had so much going through her head so I started reading books to her to better allow her to fall asleep. I think the first book we read was the first Harry Potter. We have continued this practice of my reading to her each night (when I am not traveling) and have read numerous books, including the entire Harry Potter series, the Chronicles of Narnia and scores of other books, with the last one being Catcher in the Rye (which might be the worst book I have ever read).
This allows us a little down time together at the end of the night as we are both often doing our own things for the final few hours of the day after the kids go down and Rebecca and I both enjoy it. The only problem is she can't tell me when she falls asleep so I often read several pages before realizing she is asleep. And then have to reread those pages the next night...

Any suggestions for good books to read?

Analyzing behaviors

2009-01-15T06:14:00.000-08:00

So a few months ago I mentioned divulging those personal issues which I struggle with. One is pretty easy and doesn't effect life too much. The other has become a bit too much of a part of my daily like.

1. I am totally obsessive compulsive about a number of things - cleanliness/order (but oddly not about germs) and counting. I count absolutely everything - letters in words, words in sentences, every step I walk up. I know how many steps to the 2nd and 3rd floors to our house in Shaker which I moved out of in 1994. Same with the neighbors...The cleaning drives me crazy. I get nervous and sweaty when things are not in a specific order. And order means everything off the counters, dishes washed immediately, kids toys put away when done being played with...this has manifested itself over the past few years since having kids. Rebecca and I were always quite orderly when it was just us. But the kids have caused disorder (either directly or indirectly) that just drives me crazy. This, as well, has not caused too much trouble in my life. I spend alot of time picking up and it has caused some tense moments between Rebecca and I when things get left out longer than they should or she gets bothered by the fact that I walk in the door from work and am washing dishes in suit and tie within 30 seconds (implying she is a poor housekeeper). But part of that is to ensure that I don't get angry or nervous about it later causing bigger issues...either way, I suppose, this is not a large issue as compared with those of other obsessive compulsives I have read about - not being able to leave the house, constant hand washing, etc.

2. Death. I used to have a "Book of Questions" with 242 (I think) questions in it that were supposed to spur thought, conversations and inner analysis. One of the questions was "What are you most scared of?" I often shared these questions with coworkers and friends and was amazed at the number of people that had death as their biggest fear. At the time of these numerous discussions, I was 15-25 years old and death was at the bottom of my list of things I was scared of. I parachuted, started flying, ran into burning buildings, jet skied in 20 foot waves in the ocean and alligator infested lakes. I tempted death and didn't let it worry me one bit. However, I have 100% reversed my thinking on this and attribute this to having a wife and kids who rely on me and loving others more than I could possibly love anything else. I am scared to death of death (??), not the physical act or event of dying. That doesn't worry me. The effect my death would have on the rest of the family. I read the obits every morning, scouring them for people my age who have died to find out how, who they left behind and often shed tears thinking about this person I don't know and the kids who will grow up without a parent.

Almost every act I make during the day that is semi-dangerous (driving, commercial flying, crossing the street), I picture myself crashing or getting struck and killed and think about not being able to see my daughters grow up, missing birthdays, weddings, their adulthood. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it now. Not 100% my missing things but the idea that they wouldn't have a loving and supporting father to help them grow, mature and become sensitive and caring women.
And often, especially today as I read about a father who killed his 3 children and set the house afire, I think about things the other way around - my kids getting killed and my having to live through it. Many horrendous visions come along with this. I imagine (for some reason) the last few minutes of those kids lives and watching what their father was doing and the pain (physically and emotionally) they must have gone through.

I realize this is a completely morbid post and certainly not very uplifting. But unfortunately it is something that consumes alot of my thoughts. And I read other blogs that also often have a theme of death in them - either dealing with a death or reacting to death or the worries of a parent - and realize I am not the only one. But I wish I could stop thinking about it all the time...

Holidays

2009-01-02T10:42:00.001-08:00

My father has been here for the last 10 days and it has been wonderful to spend time with him. We had a two day tour of castle hotels in Germany, seeing four wonderful castles and staying overnight in two of them which thrilled 4 year old Kate! We went to a Christmas circus (showing me how good Ringling Brothers circuses really are) and spent some time at an indoor waterpark about 10 minutes from home today. Quite a blast. Tomorrow we drive to Goslar, where I lived for 8 months as a teenager, to show my family and visit my "home." We also get to see the mother in the family I stayed with. So it has been a wonderful time...though we had 3 cases of pink eye, 2 viral infections causing much coughing and sleeplessness in the kids, 2 colds and bronchitis (me). So it has been eventful...but it was great spending time with my father. Happy new year to all...

Christmas in Germany

2008-12-08T02:02:00.001-08:00

The people of Germany get very "Christmas happy." Stores are filled with Xmas items and decorations in early October, the Christmas festivals (mentioned previously) are highly attended and (just like the US) people take the time off between Xmas and New Year's to recharge. However, the one thing that is sorely missed by my family are the Christmas lights and decorations. While driving at night, you might see a house with a few white or blue lights or a decorative Santa out front. But nothing like the US. Rebecca has always loved driving around and pointing out the lights to the kids and the kids have always been fascinated. So when we heard about a house in our town (that has been on the news and in the newspaper) that was highly decorated, we had to venture out to see it, though had quite low expectations as what the Germans call highly decorated we figured would be normal in the US. Quite wrong. We went to the house last night and were very surprised. The foot and car traffic was amazing - cars parked on all sides of the street for a few blocks and difficult to navigate and at least 50 people in front of the house looking at it. You could see the glow a few blocks away! Apparently, the male (60-70ish) owner of the house is a doctor and he and his wife have decorated the house (with much assistance, I imagine!) for a long time. He serves punch and hot drinks, she gives the kids little balls like those in ball pits at adventure parks. And they ask that you make a small donation that goes to the local children's hospital. Pretty neat and glad we made the effort for the trip!

Christmas Markets

2008-12-07T12:41:00.001-08:00

One of the really historic and cool things about Germany is the Christmas markets. Most small towns (and some large) erect hundreds of stands in the central market area and every Saturday and Sunday in December these stands are filled with crafts, merchants, and things to eat. The markets are absolutely packed with people, but very cool. People standing around eating bratwurst, drinking gluhwein and beer and having a good time. There are some very famous ones in some of the medieval towns like Rottenburg ob der Tauber that have been going on for hundreds of years.

We decided to walk down to the one in our town today, about a 15 minute walk. It was about 40, but quite chilly. We got there and it was quite a small version with only about 50 stands, half of which were dedicated to eating and drinking. Germans love their sweets, so some cool stands selling chocolates, nuts, etc. Walking through with 2 strollers was quite tough as it was wall to wall people. Rebecca got her love - cotton candy.

In the center of all this was a carousel upon which kids could ride. There were about 15 places on the carousel, some on individual horses or motorcycles and some in cars that held four kids sitting. Tickets were required and had to be purchased at the ticket booth. There was quite a crowd around the carousel, which should have been my first sign to ensure the kids didn't see it. Too late. So I went up to get tickets and you could purchase 1 ticket, 5, 10, 20 or 50. Which seemed odd to me because this was the only ride there (should have been my second sign). I bought two for the girls and go back to Rebecca who appears wide eyed with fear. She quickly describes to me what happened when the carousel stopped - only about 2 of the 15 seats became vacated. And when you have 20 or so parents and kids waiting (not in a line, mind you, but just everywhere around the carousel) for those seats, mass chaos and anarchy prevailed. People and kids pushed and shoved to get their kids into those seats. And 18 of the 20 kids who tried to get the seats would come off the merry-go-round crying.

This happened several times and I stood there with Kate's hand in mine trying not to feel like a helpless, cowardly, meek father who didn't have the balls to push through the hordes of future carouselers to get his kid a spot. Finally we were able to get the girls on, both on the same ride even. And as we watched the goings-on for a bit longer, what apparently happens is that parents buy large amounts of these tickets, stand aside or in the drinking tents and drink beer and gluhwein. And each time the carousel starts, they run out and give their kid another ticket so they don't have to dismount.

Absolute insanity. I have grown accustomed to the European way of getting bumped into, people not saying excuse me and being a little more pushy. But I was astounded that any true civilized person would set the carousel up this way. Though, when I think about it, the ride was full every time and they were getting paid. So what did they care? And parents don't have much of a choice once their kids see the carousel. Oh, and there was this little 7 year old gypsy kid with earrings collecting the tickets each time. Quite a sight...Pictures to be attached soon.

And the kids got to meet St Nikolaus, who comes on the night of the 4th of December and fills up boots or slippers that kids place by their doors with candy.

Fun Christmas Ideas

2008-12-03T03:22:00.000-08:00

When my mom came over a few weeks ago, she brought with her a box containing the "Elf on a Shelf." In the box was a stuffed toy Christmas elf and a book. The book is to be read to children to explain who the elf is and why he is there. Essentially, the book is a cute story that tells the kids that the elf watches over them in the Christmas season and reports back to Santa each night whether the kids have been bad or good. The next morning, the kids would discover the elf had returned from the North Pole and was hiding on a different shelf or place in the house to watch them. While not only serving as perhaps extra incentive to be on their best behavior, it provides fun as they race out of their beds to try and find the elf each morning. They are not allowed to touch him (just talk to him) and he (obviously) does not reply. And it is up to your family to give him a name. A very cute, entertaining idea for the little ones and a fun tradition. The link and story of his origin - http://www.elfontheshelf.com/#/home.

Car buying and weather related observations

2008-12-03T01:35:00.000-08:00

I was over here in Germany a few weeks before the family, back and forth for a project. We were selling our cars in the US and needed to buy two new ones here. I wanted to fit in as well as to drive a nice car so planned on getting a small Mercedes, Audi or BMW sedan like my Camry. I did a little research, knew about what I wanted, went to Mercedes and found a used one with 40,000 miles on it and bought it. Didn't shop around, didn't try BMW or Audi. It was about what I wanted to saw so need to go out and try to find something that might be a small improvement (in contrast to Rebecca, see comment below).

So...the trip to work this morning took an hour, much longer than the usual 20-25 minutes, due to a large quantity of snow that had fallen and continued to fall. We had been told there would be no snow here and have been quite surprised. How does this tie into the car conversation? Mercedes and BMWs have rear wheel drive and are absolutely shit in the snow. And it is even worse as I live up some pretty steep hills that are difficult to traverse in rear wheel drive. As I was rather indifferent between the 3 car manufacturers, had I known that this would be a problem, I would have gone straight to Audi and not looked back. Oh well...live and learn. Next time I move to a foreign country I will be more prepared.

Rebecca on the other hand had to essentially go look at, sit in and drive (where possible) every possible car that might be in contention for her driving pleasure. A painful two day process but ended up with a VW Passat wagon and we both love it. It actually won out over Audi, BMW and Mercedes.

And, by the way, I never saw one salt truck or snow plow on the way to work this morning.

Travel atrocities

2008-11-28T03:54:00.000-08:00

This is absurd from the Travel Insider...

Only in Canada? Let's hope so. Canada's Supreme Court has refused to hear an appeal from the airlines, therefore allowing to stand intact a lower court judgment that obliges airlines to give 'people of size' two seats on a plane.
Yes, airlines must now give - for free - a second seat to people who are too large to fit in a single seat.
Is this fair? And is it sensible? It is neither. Why should a for-profit airline be obliged to forego the revenue it could make selling a seat to a passenger, and instead give it for free to another passenger? An airline could normally sell two seats to two 150lb each passengers, but now has to give them both to one 300lb passenger.
How will the airline plan for this - what say it doesn't have spare seats available at checkin? Does that mean the overweight person will have to be denied boarding, or can they voluntarily relinquish their right to two seats?
Could an airline have an overweight person on either side of a block of three seats and have the two people 'share' the middle seat's extra space?
Have you ever noticed in some clothing stores that you pay extra for large sized clothing? Will that too become illegal?
And, is it sensible? There are no clear guidelines as to what the trigger point is for a person qualifying for a second free seat. Will we see sizing templates for people as well as luggage?
What say a person of average or even below average size finds themselves wedged into a middle seat with 200lb + passengers on either side? They're going to be very uncomfortable, too. Will airlines (in Canada) have to give them a second seat?
How about tall people with their knees wedged into the back of the seat in front of them? Will the airlines have to upgrade them to first class for free so as to give them more generous leg room?
This ruling opens a Pandora's Box of consequential entitlements. Shame on the Canadians for displaying too much political correctness and too little common sense.

Personal Improvement

2008-11-26T03:33:00.000-08:00

My father gave me a book a few years ago called, "The Way of the Superior Man - A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work and Sexual Desire." I don't tend to read books like this - it's not my nature to try to understand why things work, why I do what I do, why my wife does what she does, etc. I just go...And if someone had asked me five years ago what personal issues I have or what I struggle with, the answer was a resounding, "Nothing. I am as issue free as they come" Now as I cope with becoming the best parent and husband I can be and having a wife who reads nothing but self-help books, taking a proactive approach to improving herself, I have come to grips that I do indeed have some "things" that guide why I do the things I do and prevent me from being the best I can be. So that, on top of the recommendation from my father, led me to really read and embrace this book.

It is a book that doesn't need to be read straight through - there are several sections and chapters that deal with things from intimacy with one's spouse to working with polarity and energy (whatever the hell that means). I initially read many of the chapters, have digested them over the past year and am now going back and rereading particular chapters that I have found interesting. And in the introduction to the book, the author, David Deida, writes something that I think about at least daily and actually relates to one of my first posts about finding one's passion. He writes:

"Your sexual essence is your sexual core. If you have more masculine sexual essence, you would, of course, enjoy staying home and playing with the kids, but deep down you are driven by a sense of mission. You may not know your mission, but unless you discover this deep purpose and live it fully, your life will feel empty at its core, even if your intimate relationship and family life are full of love."

While I think this statement is rather drastic, it hits home. I certainly do not feel empty at all, but do feel that that mission (or passion) has not been found and I understand what he means, as this leaves a feeling of incompleteness. I know alot of people in their 50's and 60's who feel their life didn't achieve what they wanted and they search to find a way to leave some sort of legacy, knowing the world is a better place because of their existence or somehow leaving an impact. That's not what this is...I want to wake up each morning and be excited about what I am doing, look forward to it and know that what I am doing is what I am here to do. I just haven't found that yet...And I wonder if most people ever do find this mission. I know so few people who are actually excited about what they do and seem completely fulfilled. But when you do meet these people, you know exactly who they are. You can usually feel the energy and sense the feeling of fulfillment and passion with which they approach life.

Up next....broaching those issues that I struggle with...if I am ready to put them on paper!

Finally snow!

2008-11-23T02:01:00.001-08:00

When we arrived over here in August, we were told that it had not snowed in Frankfurt in two years! This was quite devastating for my wife who loves the snow and whose middle name is actually Snow. We are up in the mountains a little bit from Frankfurt and usually the temp falls 5-10 degress upon coming home from work. I don't know the typical snow fall here in Kelkheim. However, we awoke the morning after arriving home from our trip to find about 1-2 inches of snow had fallen! Rebecca and the kids were overjoyed. I, on the otherhand...not quite so much.

Southern Trip

2008-11-22T21:51:00.001-08:00

Just back from a driving tour of southern Germany, some of Switzerland, Austria and Liechtenstein. My mom, aunt and uncle came over for 9 days and leave today...:( It will be tough to see them go but my father is now planning on coming for 4 weeks (some work, some play) beginning Dec. 23.

There was alot of driving on the trip and the kids were fantastic. About 20 hours in 5 days, some through blinding snow storms but most through the most gorgeous scenery in the world. Both Rebecca and my uncle had not traveled in the area so the goal was primarily to give them a good flavor. We initially drove to Lucerne, Swtizerland, a gorgeous old town on a lake with old covered bridges crossing the lake. The next day we drove to Garmisch-Partenkirchen, Germany, home of the largest mountain in Germany at about 10,000 feet. We took a train up the inside of the mountain to the first plateau at 9,000 feet and a cable car to the top. The view was gorgeous (pics to follow soon). We then took a cable car to the bottom.

The next day we went to Castle Neuschwanstein, an unbelievable castle that Walt Disney modeled his castle in Disney World after. Kate was in heaven! We then drove to Salzburg, Austria for two nights. A wonderful city with great walking through the old town and stores. An incredible christmas market was set up that was quite fun to walk through. On our drive home we stopped in Rothenburg, considered by many to be the most charming medieval town in Germany. Fun to walk around and shop.

A great trip and fun to spend time with everybody. They will be sorely missed (especially over the holidays).

Castles

2008-11-12T11:36:00.000-08:00

Ever since Kate went to Disney in February (and EuroDisney in October) she has been obsessed with princesses. So what better place to take her than a country that has hundreds of castles, some in ruins and some upkept? Most weekends, we make at least one trip to a local castle. There are 5 within 15 minutes of our house. Each week we venture a bit further. Here are a few pics from the castles near us. However, I am getting quite tired of fielding the question of "Where are all the prince, princesses, kings and queens?" I fight the urge to just say, "THEY ARE DEAD. THEY EXIST NO MORE." However, that might be a little scarring...

Speaking of scaring, our neighbors had a kitchen fire the other night and right as Rebecca and the kids got home, the fire department arrived, many trucks, many hoses. The kids were a bit intimidated, but now Kate woke up 3 times last night screaming and a sweaty mess from dreams about fires. Just wonderful...

Odd names

2008-11-07T00:42:00.000-08:00

I drove up to a city called Grevenbroich yesterday to spend the day at a new client to attend some meetings. Most Germans would have taken the train system as it is economical and easy to use. But I haven't done so yet and didn't want to do it early on a morning when I HAD to be there for a 10 am meeting. So I drove, which resulted in my windshield getting cracked by a damn rock. But that is not the story here. As I approached Köln (Cologne to Americans), I passed a bus (see picture above). It just made me laugh...It is indeed a true bus company and has been around for many years...

Halloween

2008-11-05T03:29:00.000-08:00

Halloween is not a holiday in Germany, though over the past 10 years or so, Germans have come to embrace it. However, the concept of going door to door trick-or-treating is still new and not common. A few kids come to the door, some locals and some expats, but more of the Germans tend to attend parties or haunted houses. As Rebecca is a member of the American Women's Club, we had a list of American households that were giving out candy and drove around to them. 8 houses in an hour and a half was rather tough with the kids getting in and out of the car.

However, Kate's school offers something called Trunk or Treat. People drive their cars into the big school parking lot, all park facing the same direction and open their trunks and decorate them. Kids then go in their costumes from trunk to trunk and people give out candy. And it is amazing how well people decorate their trunks. Smoke machines, coffins, crazy stuff. I had a blast and the kids did too. It is entirely light out so you can see the costumes and nothing is too scary. There is a parade at the end with all the kids and prizes given out for best costumes, scariest, etc. A fantastic idea and a great work around to not being able to go door to door. See some good pics below!

Cross Border Inventions

2008-10-22T17:15:00.000-07:00

I consider myself quite well traveled, having spent much of my last 5 years traveling for work throughout the US, Europe and a bit in Asia. So one of the things I was most surprised about when moving to Germany was that there are many different inventions (typically technology related) and practices that are not duplicated in the US (and vice versa, though I will focus on those in Germany and not in the US). As connected as our world is these days, I would have expected that anything that makes life more efficient or could earn a buck for someone would be quickly brought to the US. But that's not the case. Nothing huge, but little things (in no particular order).

1. Germans love to drive fast and obviously invest money in technology that assists in the safety of this, as well as the efficiency of it. Above many of the bridges near cities with rush hour are LED displays of the current speed limit over each lane. The speed limit changes depending on the number of cars that are sensed to be going under the bridge in a certain period of time. For example, when there is little traffic, the speed limit shows unlimited. When more traffic, it shows about 60 and goes all the way down to 20 if it senses that cars moving slowly or stopped for an accident. And this appears to trigger previous bridges as well so one always knows what is going on ahead. The changing of the speed limit is quite dynamic, as I see it change all the time as I approach.

2. The parking garages in the cities keep track of how many spaces are available and on what floors. Additionally, these numbers are reported centrally so that when entering the larger cities, there is a sign that shows how many spaces are available in each of the city parking garages. Again this is done electronically. And as one goes up (or down as the case may be) in the garage, each floor has a light system to alert you whether there are spaces available on your floor or not (green means available, red means go to the next floor). This saves quite alot of time when searching for parking spots.

3. Not technological exactly, but there is a great system of bike rentals in Frankfurt and other German cities. A company owns many bikes and they are left locked up at various locations (street corners) around the city. If you wish to rent a bike (about $1 an hour), you text message or call a number and they bill your cell phone and unlock the bike remotely. When you are done, you park the bike, lock it and let them know where you left it, though I believe they do have GPS sensors built in. While not exactly a phenomenal idea in the US as we don't ride bikes as much and I can't even imagine riding a bike in NYC, I just like the ease and efficiency that this is done.

4. In several places, especially my office, I like the way that the vending areas (vending machines as well as the cafeteria) are non-cash. You load up your ID card with cash at ATM like machines at specific intervals (5-100 euros) and just swipe it when you want something. This makes the lines move extremely fast at peak times (lunch) and there is absolutely no concern regarding employee theft or giving the wrong change. Not to mention, I bet the average spending per person goes up with the implementation of such a system as the human mind doesn't necessarily think about the cash they are spending from a card in the same manner they do with actual cash.

There are others I am forgetting which I will add soon. There have been several times in the past 2 months that I have looked at Rebecca and said, 'Oh my God, why doesn't everybody do it that way?" But I have forgotten these things...But it just strikes me that an entrepreneur could travel from country to country and pick up "inventions" that he could make a mint off in the US. Granted some of these things are not things that are easily marketed and could make money off. The speed limit signs and parking garage signs are infrastructure/govt type items that the government would have to endorse and pay for, which would not be likely.

Chaos theory, gravity or just bad luck?

2008-10-14T04:01:00.001-07:00

So I was making toast for Lauren this morning while trying to multitask, reading my emails that came in overnight (from the US usually) and checking sports scores on my blackberry. Toast popped up and with my left hand, the hand holding the blackberry, I tried to grab the toast. I accidentally touched the edge of my finger to the metal top of the toaster that was piping hot (still have a blister to prove it) and pulled my hand back so fast that the blackberry went flying out of my hand. It arced across the room (seemingly in slow motion) and landed smack dab in the middle of a frying pan filled with water, soaking after Rebecca burned last night's dinner. I quickly pulled it out - it hadn't short circuited but was soaking wet. Six hours later, it works but many of the keys still don't work. I am hoping it will just take time to dry, as I bought the blackberry in the US as it is much cheaper there. Last thing I want to do is go spend $500 on a blackberry.

About 30 minutes later, I went to plug my electric razor in and had to go find an adaptor. Adaptor in hand and trying to plug it in the outlet in the cupboard in the bathroom, I dropped the adaptor and it fell in the smallest place in a corner in the cabinet that I could barely reach (with extreme exertion) and don't know if I could have put there if I had tried!

So I got to thinking that things like this happen all the time to me - as if all cosmic events aligned to make these things happen. I mean, what are the chances I burn myself while holding my bberry and it flies across the room and lands in a pan?? (By the way, chances of a burned pan soaking in our house are indeed quite high). Why when I dropped my keys a few years ago did they just happen to find the gap in the elevator I was stepping out of and fall down the shaft? Why, when I am assembling some piece of furniture or IKEA product, when I drop the screw does it fall just out of reach so that I have to set everything down and start over? Or when I set the garden hose down, it always happens to fall on the sprayer handle and squirt me right in the face?

I don't know anything about chaos theory (and don't think it has anything to do with what I am talking about) but this seems an appropriate description of these events. Perhaps its just gravity and I have bad luck. Or, the most likely answer, maybe I just remember the instances where these things happen and the other 99 times out of 100 don't stick in my head. Do these things happen to other people? I am going to start making lists of these impossible things and report back.

Parenting

2008-10-03T12:21:00.000-07:00

So Rebecca and I are not strict parents when it comes to discipline but have always been quite strict when it comes to adhering to schedules for the girls. Meals are eaten at the same time every day within 15 minutes and bed time never waivers. The girls have always gone down at 7 (or earlier) and I can count on one hand the number of times that has not happened, usually because we are traveling or a dinner out runs late. Kate gets her 12 hours and Lauren gets her 14 (with an afternoon nap) as recommended by the APA. We both believe this helps, as the kids always know what to expect and when to expect it. I am always interested to watch the kids of other parents who don't adhere to such a schedule. In my opinion, I tend to witness more mood swings and melt downs. But this may just be a predetermined bias. This all essentially stems from Rebecca's unwavering adherence to the rules. If the APA recommends it, she does it. No TV before two as it contributes to ADD. Sleep schedules, everything.

So the reason I write this now is that I am sitting in the rotunda of the Disneyland Hotel in Paris because this is the only place in the hotel that has wifi. Rebecca and the girls went to bed about 7 and I came up here to catch up on email and baseball playoffs. And I found an absolute mad house...50 kids or so running absolutely amok, dressed from just diapers to full princess and pirate regalia. Parents are sitting here drinking, kids are shrieking, chasing each other with star wars guns and at least one gets injured every 5 minutes, several are absolutely screaming bloody murder and melting down at their parents feet. All from age 1 to 10. At 8 o'clock I wasn't too surprised. But now its 9:30 and no signs of slowing. And I know these are the same kids that are going to be up at 7 and in the park, knocking my kids over in line and behaving horrendously. Do parents know this and just choose to have their fun at the expense of the kids? Or do they just assume kids know when they need to go to bed and its ok to keep them out like this? Or, is this just Disney and vacation and these parents act quite differently at home? Or am I just a square who should let his kids run amok too as they are missing out by not doing so?

Naming Rights

2008-09-30T01:22:00.000-07:00

I may piss a few people off here, but so be it.

There have been many articles in the news lately about the prospect of Allianz, the largest German insurance company, buying the naming rights to the new stadium in New York. Huge protests and outcry have arisen, as apparently Allianz had ties to the Nazi party back in the 1930s and 1940s, helping them transfer funds and insure concentration camps. People are outraged that such a firm would be considered to be allowed to buy the naming rights of a stadium, let alone in New York where there is a very high Jewish population.

I don't understand it. Any company that wanted to survive the 1930s and 1940s in Germany had to support the Nazi party or risk being shut down (or killed). We have no idea if everyone who ran the company jumped on board happily with the Nazi party or went along (in horror) just trying to keep the company alive. While I certainly don't advocate forgiving and forgetting, there is a point where we have to move on and realize that we are a few generations removed from the atrocities that took place in the World War II era and that we cannot hold grandkids and great grandkids accountable for actions of generations past.

This may sound condescending (and certainly isn't meant to) but I was proud of Rabbi Rosenbaum when he said that we need not live in the past and to move on. The fact is that we could look in most American companies and find things each one is not proud of or something done illegally. Should we eliminate GE and Halliburton from naming rights as well because of evidence of corrupt practices in their past?

They were just one of many companies that existed at that time that supported the Nazi party. It would be different if the stadium was to be named Eichmann, Goehring or Mengaleh Stadium, as these names bring up memories of horrible atrocities. But does the name of Allianz really provoke such memories and pain?

German taxes and social services

2008-09-30T00:25:00.000-07:00

It's been 8 days since my last post. Rebecca was sick in the hospital (definitely fodder for another blog post) and there was little time the past week to write.

I was filling up my gas tank this morning, amazed that each time I do so it costs me about $125. And that's for a small car like an Accord or Camry. Based on yesterday's exchange rate, I paid $8.47 per gallon. So I started thinking about why the cost could be so high - the oil producing countries are closer to Germany so not a transportation issue - when I saw a note that said $5.02 of taxes is levied on each gallon. That's 59% of the cost of gas! So an enormous source of revenue for the government.

Then I thought about my paycheck here, as I just got my second one today since my arrival. My paycheck included 34% for taxes (all included - federal, city, local, etc) and 5% for social security. So in all, I actually pay higher taxes here (due to fewer allowances and credits) than I do in the US (though, thankfully, this increase is paid by my firm). And that ignores health care costs (as we have private insurance), but the average German pays about another 6% for health care, which is state run.

So I started wondering where all this tax money went and it became pretty clear - Germany doesn't have the social security and poverty issues we have, their roads and infrastructure are above US standard (approaching fantastic) and the health care system (certainly not as coddling as the US, as will be described in another writing) is efficient and run by the government. Everyone has healthcare.

I would gladly pay the tax rates that Germans pay in the US to help eliminate the above issues (good god, am I becoming a liberal???). The problem is, I have little confidence that the US government would actually be able to implement these German like systems efficiently and without billions of dollars leaking for other undisclosed items that doom the entire reason for the increases in taxes...

As a quick aside and speaking of fuel price, in the US I watch for the lowest price in gasoline per gallon but within a few cents I am indifferent. But here, due to the exchange rate and pricing in liters instead of gallons, a €.01 change in gas price is equivalent to $.06! So passing a place up and seeing it for €.03 higher down the road is $.18 per gallon higher! Just need to alter the mindset a little...

Passion

2008-09-22T06:57:00.001-07:00

Many kids have an idea of what they want to be when they grow up. Often this is rooted in simply doing what their parents do or what certain childhood heroes on TV do. The jobs I most often heard kids wanting to be were policemen, firemen or doctors. The first job that I remember wanting as a kid was a rapid transit train driver (and that was before I knew you got to drink alcohol and text message in the cab). Probably a result of the typical boyhood love for cars and trains. Why do I bring this up? Because I don't think I have figured out what I WANT to do when I grow up. I know what I am going to do...which is continue down the career path I have started and am getting closer to achieving what is considered to be the end goal - partner. I go to work, I like what I do, I like the people I work with and know the work I do adds a tremendous amount of value. But I don't love it. I don't get that gleam in my eye when teaching junior staff about what we do or talking to kids about careers in accounting. I don't have a passion for it. In fact, I don't know that I have a passion for anything (besides my lovely wife and children).

Some would argue (I think my wife would, as we had this discussion a while back as we discussed careers) that one doesn't need to have a job or hobby for which they are passionate about. She would rather I work 9 to 5, Monday-Friday, make $35k a year, not travel and be home every night. However, in my mind (and I know in many others), to have a job I didn't enjoy and looked forward to 5 pm every day because I hated it so much, would slowly kill me and the depression from the job would leech into my personal life.

As I think back over the past 10-15 years, I consider two areas that I had a passion for. One was working at the fire department and the other was flying. I absolutely loved the 5 years that I spent as a firefighter/EMT. There was little I didn't like and I couldn't wait to get to work in the morning. I often went in the previous night and slept there to add additional help if needed. Mind you I worked in a town with 3-4 calls a day and don't know that I would want to work in a huge city. But I loved it. Initially I got into it as a precursor to going to medical school. However, the first time I ran in a burning building, I was hooked to both aspects of that life - providing emergency medical care and firefighting. I typically spent 90-100 hours a week at the fire station - working, training new recruits, community education, whatever needed doing. Maybe it was the rush of driving the ambulance lights and siren, the rush of administering IVs or defibrillating patients like my heroes on child hood show Emergency did or maybe the fantastic brotherhood/camaraderie that comes with working at the fire station and an intense feeling of belonging. However, I didn't follow through with my goals of becoming a doctor and dreams of greater wealth than working at the fire department pulled me in a different direction. I have followed up with several communities in the Cleveland area to see what I could offer in the way of volunteer services, but I no longer had the certifications and was too far away from volunteer departments. And god knows I don't have the time for that type of commitment anymore with two young kids. At times I toy with the idea of going to medical school, but trying to figure out how to keep a house, two cars, etc. and paying for medical school is a dead end...

In 2002, I began taking flying lessons and got my pilot's license in 2003. There is no greater feeling than flying a plane. Phenomenal. It opens up a whole new realm of exploration that few people get to experience. I loved every minute of it. It was a cautious love as I was very conscious of the concept that any mistake could lead to injury or death. I often read through flying magazines now and see ads that offer to train you to become an airline pilot over a 3 month period for $50k or so. While the money could be worked out, the idea that I start at the bottom of the seniority list (at less than $40k per year) once again leads to a dead end...

So what is my point? My point is that it is important to follow your passion, your dreams at an early age. While there are always opportunities to back track and try something new, there are often road blocks that make it much more difficult (financial, relationship, geography). While I hope to one day get back into flying and follow this passion (as I have not flown since my kids were born, partially due to time constraints, partially due to some subconscious concern about killing myself and my kids becoming fatherless), it won't likely be for a long time. And the civil service tests for firemen usually stop at age 33. Don't get me wrong - I adore my family and the time I spend with them, I like my job and it provides a fantastic living. Just a part of me misses having a passion, specifically when I see others speak or write about things that they are so passionate about. I wish that I had that same feeling about something. Perhaps my passion is yet to be discovered...

Dual Responsibilities of a Parent

2008-09-19T06:04:00.000-07:00

The PRIMARY job of a parent is to take care of their kids, shield them from pain, both emotionally and physically. The minute that child is born, there is no greater responsibility than shaping that child to grow into a caring, self-supporting and responsible adult, capable of raising their own family and making a contribution to society.

Reading the newspaper over the past week has brought tears to my eyes several times. Reading about the Israeli girl who was abused and killed by her grandfather, the woman who carried her boy's dead body in her car for several months and the NY woman who let the stepfather of her daughter beat and leave her for dead has just infuriated me. I could never raise a had to my children, nor can I stand it when I see them hurt physically or emotionally. I commented to a friend the other day that seeing the hurt look in my 20 month old's eyes when she says hello to someone and they don't respond is awful. And I don't understand how someone could ever hurt their (or anybody's) children. There is so much pain caused in kids that is preventable. I want to shield my children from every possible bad thing that could ever befall them - physical or emotional. I want to take them away to some deserted island where no one could possibly hurt them.

However, it would be irresponsible of me to do so as it is my role as a parent to help prepare my children for the hurtful (and good) things in life and help them minimize the opportunity for something bad to happen to them. Taking them away and not teaching them about these things would just increase the chances that they do get hurt when they are away from my watchful eye. The dichotomy of trying to protect my kids and letting them experience the real world as well is a role I struggle with. How much do you let them see and when? Do you watch a bit removed to see how they react to things and then swoop in when they are closer to the line of getting hurt? Or do you let them get hurt (a little of course!) to experience and realize certain dangers?

And it is one thing when we as parents know of the dangers and try to keep our kids from getting hurt - hot stoves, mean kids on a playground, streets. But my heart goes out to these parents in China who were only trying to feed their children and eating food of the shelves in grocery stores, who now have kids in intensive care with kidney stones or worse. The failure that I imagine you would feel as a parent would be oppressive, but it is a failure that could not be avoided. What were they supposed to do? Pull out their home chemistry set and test everything in the grocery store? So incredibly sad that so many parents are now placed in such a situation.

Kids are so helpless and don't understand danger and cruelty. Yet they are faced with it every day in this world. I feel so incredibly grateful that my kids are some of the lucky ones who have parents (primarliy their mother) that are so diligent and observant and are with them constantly protecting them from this cruel world. I just wish all kids could be so lucky...

Is being nice less efficient?

2008-09-18T00:50:00.001-07:00

I work in the fast-paced M&A arena where hundreds of millions of dollars (at times even billions of dollars) are on the table and can be made or lost with one mistake. This often requires very long hours, being at the client's beck and call and very stressful situations. However, everyone in my company typically treats each other with respect. In my mind (and most others'), we are all one team and, though one person ends up making final decisions, all equals who should be treated with respect and dignity.

The clients we work for often have their jobs on the line (or even more, their entire net worth) as they decide whether to continue to pursue an acquisition target based on our analysis and recommendations. As such, they are often under enormous pressure. Specifically, our very large private equity firm clients, where hundreds of high powered wealthy people have trusted the PE firm with investing their money and providing superior returns (often greater than 15 and 20% annually). As a means to incentivize the PE team, most of them have equity in the firm as well and will be handsomely rewarded if the deals they end up closing achieve high returns. And vice versa, of course.

We often spend quite alot of time with our clients, many times in a "war room" at the client or target site with the PE team doing the deal. While it is not immediately apparent who is on the PE team and who is the advisor (as we are all typically 25-40 year old white males, dressed and groomed well), spending 10 minutes in the room would allow a bystander to easily differentiate between the two teams. How? The interaction between members of the PE team is hostile, at best. It is so hierarchical in nature that rarely would you see a lower level team member even addressing his immediate superior. And when superiors (the 30 year old VP who has been in the business 5 years) talk to their juniors, (the 27 year old analyst who just finished his MBA) they are so derogatory, insulting and condescending that I am often embarrassed to be in the same room listening to the discussion. Let me give an example:

I sat in a conference room with 5 other people, 3 on my team and 2 on the PE team as we delivered our report. The senior person on the PE team was making a point about some issue and made a reference to a number provided by the target company. The junior person spoke up and corrected him, as he used the wrong number. The senior guy then got up, without a word, went to the chalk board and drew an organizational chart. He was at the top of the chart, his wife and kids were below him, his dog was below his kids and then he wrote the junior guy's name below the dog. Didn't say another word, sat down and continued the discussion. The point being that this team member/co-worker who had a few years less experience in the industry and in life was lower than a dog. Even though the junior guy was actually right, the senior guy would not stand for such insubordination. Nice eh?

Now it is readily apparent where the culture comes from - from the top. I have watched the very senior executives treat everyone below them like dirt as well. And of course once someone gets promoted, they treat those below them like shit because that is how they were treated. I was on a conference call on a large automotive transaction with 278 other professionals on the call. I bill $540 per hour. If the others averaged only $400 an hour, the hour long phone call cost the client $111,000. But I digress....the senior guy was telling everyone how important it was to work their asses off the next few days before the deal closed. And he didn't say it nicely or implore people to finish the deal in a strong performance with great results, such as they have done so far. He said, on Monday, "The deal is supposed to close Thursday. If anybody so much as leaves their desk to sleep, shit or eat in the next 72 hours, you are fired. If you are not available when I look for you, you will be dismissed immediately."

So what do I take from all this? The fact is that the guys in the PE firms make alot more money than anybody below partner in our firm. Many of the 27-30 year olds walk home with $1 million a year due to strong performance of acquisitions. So they tolerate the long hours and working environment. And then they leave after several years and become one of those "command and control" leaders that existed in the 50s-80s that have taken a back seat to leaders promoting a healthy work/life balance.

However, the environment I work in and relationships with my co-workers are excellent. We travel together, eat together and spend time together with our families outside of work as we enjoy each other so much. The collegiate atmosphere fosters learning, camaraderie and harmonious relations, teaching our future leaders and partners the importance of working together with positive attitudes of respect. We always get our work done and are successful in meeting our clients' needs. And our people walk away happy to be doing what they are doing and look forward to coming to work the next day. I can't help feeling that an enormous amount of time and intelligence is wasted in the PE firms due to resentment towards ones' peers and not speaking up for fear of being derided and ridiculed, as well as the creativity that is stifled over the careers of these people as they become leaders of large multinational firms.

Use of Obama's $66 million August donations

2008-09-17T01:41:00.000-07:00

So I have been thinking about what the best use of the $66 million in donations Obama recorded in August would be. Is it smear campaigns? Derogatory ads? Or is there another way to spend it that would influence votes more? Let's forget the ethical and legal ramifications for a minute (I will address those in a minute). But what if Obama distributed some of this money to constituents - essentially bought people's vote?

So first of all, I tried to think about logistics and how much money that would mean if distributed to a certain group of people (also to be discussed in a minute). If we take just the amount of money he recorded in August of $66 million and assumed the total voting population is the same as it was in 2004 (just over 62 million votes), we can see below the amount of money that could be distributed, how many people that would effect and the percent of the total voting population.

$1,000 - 66,000 people - 0.1% of vote
$500 - 132,000 people - 0.2% of vote
$250 - 264,000 people - 0.4% of vote
$100 - 660,000 people - 1.1% of vote
$10 - 6,600,000 people - 10.6% of vote

So we can see, based on 62 million voters, that to really influence a large portion of the vote (greater than 1% in my mind, which means 1% more for one candidate and 1% less for another, essentially a 2% swing), you would only be able to distribute $100 to each person. Or $250 per person if you wanted only a 0.8% swing. The question is whether people would be willing to cast their vote for someone (no matter how they felt about that person) for $100 or $250?

Let's say the answer is yes, that there are large groups of people in the US that would be happy to sell their vote for $100. Their view may be that their vote doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things anyhow, or that no matter who they vote for, $100 in cash is more than any benefit they might accrue in the future based upon that person's leadership. Is 1-2% of the popular vote enough to sway things? I would say yes. For Gore that likely would have been the deciding factor, especially if these 660,000 votes are strategically bought, i.e. in a swing state or two where this would guarantee a victory.

One consideration, however, would be the opportunity cost. Where would the candidate have spent the $66 million otherwise and are potential voters lost as a result? For example, does it mean one less campaign trip because the cost of the charter plane was borne by the $66 million? Or perhaps one less TV ad to combat a claim made by the opposition?

So let's talk legal. I certainly have no idea about campaign rules, but would assume a candidate can not simply cut checks or give cash to constituents. This would be the way to do it if it was not illegal as everyone prefers cash. But what about giving out gift cards at rallies or in the mail? While you are certainly not guaranteed to get the person's vote, I would say you would influence a large number of people. So give out 660,000 gift cards to Walmart or Target for $100. Would this be legal? I don't know, though there has to be a point where you could provide something tangible to constituents to get their vote. Candidates provide rides to the poles which is a benefit. So even if providing gift cards would be illegal, there has to be something that could be provided that would influence a vote - something between providing a ride and giving out cash.

Is this ethical? I am sure my ethics professor in grad school (whom I hated and fought with daily, and who walks by my house in Cleveland Heights with his wife all the time, with me wishing I had a little bb gun) would say absolutely not. But why not? How is it any different than Bed, Bath and Beyond sending out their 20% coupons each week to influence you to shop there vs. Target?

So the question I pondered this morning when I was awake at 4:30 am was how much would a candidate have to pay me to vote for them if I was not going to vote for them anyhow? $100? No. $1000? Not likely but depended on how desperate I was. $10,000? They would have my vote. But there are a whole lot of people in this world who are less well off than I that would do it for a whole lot less.